Tag: new decade

A Big Bang

2020 has started off with a real big bang! I feel like every day something else seems to go awry and today was no exception. I got out of bed this morning and like most days I felt exhausted from another sleepless night of fighting off the symptoms of my illness. My lack of sleep last night came with some additional anxiety which may have possibly triggered a severe panic attack this morning and like most panic attacks do, it hit me out of nowhere.  My heartrate became severely elevated and I became flushed, dizzy and very very nauseous and before I knew it I had fainted; and fainted again; and then again. All I wanted to do was crawl my way back upstairs to bed before I fainted a fourth time which eventually I did and I never made it to an appointment I was supposed to be at in about 15 mins by this time.

Lucky for me my girls were both fast asleep in their beds undisturbed by what had just happened except upon waking they both thought the bangs they heard earlier in the morning were part of a dream they were having. But not to worry because Maggie came to my rescue!

I’ve fainted several times in my lifetime but usually it was due to a medication I was taking (one of the many reasons I can’t take antidepressants) or a bad flu and whether it may have been a panic attack that caused it or something else I was examined this afternoon and had some tests done as well just to be safe.

I’m pretty banged up, extremely emotional and in alot of pain tonight from the impact of my falls and there’s a chance I may have a concussion too but maybe the impact of hitting my head several times could of knocked some sense into it??

#thisisreallife #itsoktonotbeok #depression  #anxiety #panicattacks #fainting #mentalillness #mentalhealth #youareenough #neveradullmoment

Please continue to follow my journey at https://youareenough712.wordpress.com

What is Your Proudest Accomplishment of 2019


I’ve had to take several steps back during the last few weeks of 2019 to try and figure out what I need most right now in my life in order to help me move forward into 2020. It’s been a very difficult year for both myself and my family but at the same time I certainly can’t nor won’t forget my proudest accomplishments and all the good things that have happened for me as well.

This past year has taught me so much about myself and as I enter into the new year (and decade) today and try to regain some of those baby steps forward I know that I first need to learn how to crawl before I can learn to walk or run; an important lesson we could all learn from. We may also need to be reminded as the new year begins that we should try and set small and attainable goals; not resolutions, that we need to inspire one another, that we need to lift each other up, that we need to create healthy boundaries, that we need to be kinder to each other, that we need to judge less and forgive ourselves and others more, that we need to make self-care our number one priority, that we are not alone, that we can do anything; not everything and last but certainly not least we need to never forget that YOU ARE ENOUGH!

#letsshareourproudestmoments
#myproudestaccomplishmentthisyear
#wheredidmommyssmilego #childrensbook #author #goodriddance2019 #selfcare #ichooseme #youarenotalone #bekindtoyourself #checkonyourlovedones #startaconversation #dontsufferinsilence #yourmentalhealthmatters #goals #blogger #2020vision #dreams #itsoktonotbeok #youareenough

Reflection Of A Decade

REFLECTION OF A DECADE

It’s crazy to think about it but we are not only about to enter a whole new year but an entire new decade as well.  It’s kinda difficult right now for me to reflect back on the last decade with joy in my heart because for more than half of the last ten years I have spent it trying to survive and well truth be told, trying to die. 

I do know though that somewhere buried beneath my illness that my heart has felt a lot of pride and joy throughout the last decade from so many amazing highlights and milestones. In the past ten years we added a new addition to our family and Maggie has since filled our family with so much joy for close to nine years now. In the past ten years I’ve gotten to witness both Elementary and High School graduations galore (with one more to go in the new year!) and I have also watched all three of my children transition from pre-teens to teens and now into young adulthood as well. In the past ten years I got to plan and execute one of the greatest days of our lives with the celebration and milestone of Jacob and Hannah’s B’nai Mitzvah; a night which we were so blessed to be surrounded by so many of our loved ones.  In the past ten years we have also acknowledged and celebrated many more milestone birthdays as well including the most incredible family vacation in honour of Rachel’s 13th birthday. And I will never forget nearly ten years ago being able to experience the look on my kid’s faces when we walked through the gates of Disney World all together as a family!

Those are only a handful of the incredible highlights and milestones from the last ten years and there have been countless more but as I mentioned above it’s kinda difficult for me to feel the joy in my heart through the shattered glass of my illness when more than half of this current decade has been spent just trying to get through each day; basically I live each day in survival mode where the end goal is trying to avoid having a bad day. 

I never want to erase the incredible memories I’ve made during the last ten years and I certainly never want to forget the many successes either so as I enter into the next year and decade I will take with me what I have learned over this past year in order to make room for joy in my heart. I have learned so much about myself this past year alone and one of my greatest successes this year was being able to accept that if some days all I can do is survive, then that’s one step closer to joy. We all deserve to feel joy in our hearts and maybe I needed this past decade to teach me how.  

Wishing you all good health, joy and much success for 2020!

Please continue to follow my journey into the next decade at: https://youareenough712.wordpress.com

#2020 #happynewyear #findingjoy #itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #reflection #youareenough #depression #anxiety #masksoff #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #endthestigmatogether #bekindtoyourself #ichooseme