The two most important things that I have learned along my journey would probably have to be from the day I decided 3 years ago to share my story and in doing so I have found out who my tribe truly is.
I began to write about my journey in private and slowly I began to whisper it softly in close quarters but when I actually started to shout it from the rooftop my tribe gathered and now it’s overflowing with so much kindness and compassion.
Over the last five and a half years I’ve been rejected by some, I’ve been judged by others and I’ve been the topic of many hurtful conversations behind my back but I no longer hold those people in my heart. I have learned to let it go because I know that I have such an amazing tribe rooting for me now and even though you may not always understand what I am feeling you still just want to be a part of my life and learn together, you still just want to hold my hand or give me a hug (even if it’s virtual) and you still just want to listen to me or just stand beside me with no strings attached because that’s what a tribe does for one another. And just knowing how much my own story has helped so many others to gather their own tribe too means that none of us have to walk through this journey alone.
As many of you may know who follow my blogs regularly I recently mentioned that I was diagnosed with the onset of Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis which combined have left me in severe and chronic pain over the last few months.
Osteoarthritis can occur when the protective layer of cartilage in our joints wear down, it can also occur when too much stress is put on a joint, from an injury that may have occurred or even from being overweight. Having had a full body bone scan and some xrays done last month determined this to be my diagnosis.
And because Fibromyalgia often has many common symptoms to Osteoarthritis but with pain being more widespread throughout your body as mine has been, the diagnosis seemed to go hand in hand, along with the fact that Fibromyalsia is commonly found in patients suffering with depression and anxiety. I did also mention recently that I was not wishing to be treated for Fibromyalgia with commonly prescribed medications as they are most often antidepressants and I’ve been there, done that. The pain meds I was taking to alleviate some of the pain associated with osteoarthritis were also not helping.
I have tried taking out many foods from my diet that may help alleviate some of the pain and inflammation in my body and of course failed at that as well (diet coke probably being the hardest). One thing I know I’ve also needed to do for quite some time now is lose some weight, which after gaining approximately 100 pds over a 2 year span while experimenting with over 20 different antidepressants is not an easy task. Lucky for me, when my doctor weaned me off all of my medications 3 years ago more than half of that weight literally fell off, however the rest did not. Having a mindset to lose weight when your mind is as dysfunctional as mine is has been very very difficult to do and has also led to a vicious cycle of self-hatred. And then to top it all off, I gained close to another 10 pds in the short time I was taking my new medication (I am off it now).
So as per usual I began searching once again for some natural remedies and treatments to help me with some of my issues (yes there are many!). Through researching I met a woman who has spent the last 18 years of her life living with several chronic and invisible illnesses including Fibromyalgia. She’s had to endure over 10 different surgeries and was taking more than 10 perscription drugs daily until one day not so long ago she began to advocate for herself and found some products which could help her lose weight, improve her mood and energy level, boost her immune system, lower the inflammation in her body and help manage her pain and she did all this and more. She is now off all of her prescription drugs, has melted away inches and pounds in the blink of an eye, has reduced the inflammation in her body, is no longer bedridden, has tons more energy and the best part of all is she can finally hug her now teenage son for the first time, pain free.
So ya her story inspired me, ALOT and in the last 14 days since deciding to try the same products myself I have lost over 10 pds and many inches, I no longer have any food (or beverage) cravings including diet coke and a few days ago I said to my husband that the pain that had been debilitating my life further for the last several months has gone from a 10+ most days to a 1.
Who knows if it will bring about other changes as well over time in regards to helping my depression and anxiety but two weeks in I am completely amazed at what it’s done so far but for now I’ll take one Chanukah Miracle at a time!
I try not to divulge too much information about my family as I have always said that their stories are not mine to share but today I feel like I need to share maybe a teeny bit in order for others to feel like they are not alone.
I’ve witnessed my child breakdown in his first year of University upon coming to the realization that the program he had worked so hard to get into was not in fact what he wanted for his future. I’ve witnessed my child begin to panic about her future 3 years into her degree upon realizing that she needs to start figuring out what she wants to do with the rest of her life sooner rather than later and I am now witnessing my child in grade 12 feverishly working day and night on several different art portfolios in order to submit them to various schools in the next 7 weeks in hopes of being accepted into her dream program for next September.
I’ve witnessed holes being punched into walls, I’ve witnessed overwhelm, I’ve witnessed sadness, I’ve witnessed anxiety and panic, I’ve witnessed silent cries for help, I’ve witnessed disappointment, I’ve witnessed frustration, I’ve witnessed fear, I’ve witnessed anger and I’ve witnessed vulnerability in the last several years. As a parent this is truly heartbreaking when you are left feeling helpless to their pain and knowing that all you can do is try and lift them up, guide them and hope that everything will be okay even though you can’t really know for sure.
For many of our youth today we may not be enough especially when they are living remotely in another city, province (state) or even further. Many are often too scared to ask for help for fear of being judged or ridiculed by their Professors, their peers or even their own families and for those who do find the strength to reach out for help are often being turned away because our University and Colleges don’t have enough supports in place to handle the growing epidemic on campuses both near and far.
Over the last several years I have listened closely to other frightened and concerned parents tell me about their child’s feelings of overwhelm, their anxiety and their depressive behaviours due to the pressures and frustrations of University, many of whom may be living away from home for the first time and are also feeling vulnerable and abandoned by the lack of programs and supports in place for them. And sadly I have also read countless stories about yet another child who took their own life because they may have succumbed to that said pressure and frustration.
Our youth are under too much pressure today feeling the need to keep up with their peers and sometimes there is a huge feeling of pressure when trying to satisfy their parent’s expectations of them and of course there is the pressure from society in general who often imply that a University degree is the be all and end all. It seems like every other week I am reading another story about another suicide on our University campuses, including this past week and it is beyond devastating.
Last month I read a news article about a University of Toronto student who had reached out for help when she was experiencing suicidal thoughts just days after news broke that another student at their sister campus had taken their life. The way in which the mental health support team handled the situation left this student feeling more like a criminal and even further traumatized when she found herself being handcuffed and arrested by the campus police for divulging the location in which she had planned to die.
The University of Toronto just made the top 20 list of the best Universities in the world! Not just in Canada, not just in North America but the entire fricken world!! That is quite an incredible feat and although they deserve it for excelling in teaching, research and international outlook, they are more than lacking in the area of compassion for mental health.
But they are not alone as there is not enough training and support to go around for the amount of students in crisis and in need of urgent care. This student was told right before the mental health support worker called the police for fear she may harm herself or someone else that it will most likely take several months for her to see a doctor/therapist. Something needs to be done and fast! How many more students have to die before proper support is put into place to help them? We need to do better, I know we can. Please continue to follow my journey at: https://youareenough712.wordpress.com Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868 #itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #startaconversation #dontsufferinsilence #yourmentalhealthmatters #endthestigmatogether #youareenough #bekindtoyourself #checkonyourlovedones #depressionkills #anxietyisreal #suicideprevention #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #advocateforchange #ouryouthdeservebetter Sent from my Samsung Galaxy smartphone.
Today was very overwhelming and undeniably emotional for me but today was above all, empowering. Listening to a panel of experts speak along with several young adults from the community share their stories about resilience and their mental health journeys felt empowering. Seeing an audience of several hundred people come together for one common purpose and with one common goal in mind was truly empowering.
Today I met some fucking incredible people and I learned many valuable tools and many more staggering statistics. I also learned that life is not all about winning, but more importantly it’s about learning to survive that matters. The symposium focused on how we as a society can help to empower our children and youth today as these statistics continue to rise and what we can do to help make this happen both at home and in the classroom.
There is a lot of debate about how early is too early to talk about mental health at home or in school and I could see today that everyone in attendance was in agreeance that we need to start talking about it from as early on as Pre-K. I certainly can’t argue with that and I have even written a children’s book now to prove it.
It’s not that anyone is asking teachers of young children to stand up in front of their class and start giving a powerpoint lecture on the psychology of the human brain, instead it’s about introducing ways for them to understand that they have mental health. It’s about teaching children the “culture of caring” by checking in on students regularly to ensure that they are okay, giving a friendly hello or high five as they pass them in the hall at lunchtime, it’s about finding a connection between each student and their teacher and it’s about making them feel safe so they can share their thoughts and feelings.
Starting to engage children more in mental health and wellness practices at a young age in school can be easily done through art, through music, through sport, through drama and through physical fitness as well. It may mean putting aside a geometry lesson for today in order to practice some mindfulness exercises or spending a bit more time on an art project which could give them better coping strategies, allow them to express their feelings better or help them to build better communication skills.
These activities and lessons should be front and centre in our school curriculums today and to be just as much of a priority as math and english are and I don’t just mean in Pre-K, but all throughout their formative years. Teachers are not meant to be therapists but by practicing many of these skill sets with their students will make them a better role model to their students and help more children thrive, help more children to erase the stigma for the next generation, help more students to become better equipped to understand that it’s ok to fail; in fact it’s imperative that they do so many, many times and hopefully this will help more of our youth and young adults left feeling more empowered than ever before.
YouAreEnough 
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