Boy did I pick the wrong decade to quit smoking. I came very close to caving today, probably the closest I’ve come in the 2 months since quitting. My mental health has gotten the best of me. I went to the store today where I’ve been buying my cigarettes for years, the woman working behind the counter asked me how I am doing and of course the tears began flowing down my cheeks as I stood there staring right through her at the shelving of cigarettes mounted to the wall above her head. I wiped away my tears, took a deep breath and decided maybe winning the lottery was a better choice for me today instead.
I kinda joked yesterday morning on social media that it was a great day to stay in bed because it was Friday the 13th and seeing that the world was in total chaos already it may be a good idea to do so. Boy do I wish that I had listened to my own advice because yesterday turned out to be a really difficult day, not what I will be sharing with you today.
Now that the world has somewhat collectively hit the pause button for the time being it seems like the perfect time for us to take that time-out that I half heartedly joked about yesterday morning.
Time-outs aren’t just good for kids you know and seeing what is going on right now it couldn’t be a better time for one. I think we could all use a moment or two to “cool off”, I mean seriously have you seen the behaviour from some of us so called adults this week?
Timeouts are a great opportunity to teach kids some valuable lessons but right now we adults could probably learn a thing or two from the kids out there before we all completely lose our minds.
Taking a time-out is simple, although not always easy especially if you are in a full on temper tantrum. But the main goal for us to accomplish while we sit for a few moments in our time-out chair is to cool off, reflect and re-enter ready to effectively deal with whatever conflict has arisen. You may need more than a few minutes of time-out depending how conflicted or angry you are feeling and it’s okay and I’m sure you have good reason too, unless of course it’s from fighting with someone in the grocery store over toilet paper!
We are all genuinely feeling more frustrated than normal, more anxious than normal, more sadness than normal, more disappointed than normal and definitely more annoyed than normal all of which can turn to anger and much of which can turn toward others who we love.
So take that time-out; maybe go for a walk, go meet a friend for a quick coffee, go punch a punching bag. Have your tantrum, sit in your time-out chair and cool off because right now more than ever we all need to be able to stand united to conquer the biggest conflict we are facing together and we can’t do it if we are trapped while waiting in a long line at the grocery store to buy toilet paper that someone else needs more than we do.
Yesterday was a difficult day for many and I know that there was alot to take in and that new information was being thrown at us from every news source; pretty much on an hourly basis. So it’s perfectly understandable that our level of anxiety may be higher than normal today. This is all very unprecedented territory and still very much unknown. I have compiled a list (through several Mental Health Experts) of some ways for us to cope with this type of anxiety.
1.Take a break from the news or limit the amount of time you spend watching it, and try to filter it out online. Also please remember that half of what is being shared on Social Media is not always the truth. 2. Talk to someone (or text) about how you are feeling. Sorting out your emotions and feeling supported by loved ones is so helpful. Keeping your feelings bottled up will only cause you to spiral further. 3. Try to be present in the moment. If you are feeling anxious about catching the virus just let yourself know that right now there is no immediate threat to you and use lots of positive affirmations to remind yourself that you are safe. 4. Start journaling and writing down your thoughts and feelings of gratitude.
It’s ok to feel anxious or angry, or have difficulty sleeping or concentrating but the best thing we can all do right now is to keep washing our hands and following all the required steps to try and stay healthy for ourselves and our loved ones and remember that not every cough and sneeze means someone has Corona!
I was speaking with someone the other day about how overwhelmed, disconnected and alone she is feeling. I listened as she opened up to me about how she is struggling with so much self-doubt in her every day life when it comes to her role as a mom, a wife, a daughter and friend (pretty much me on a daily basis). She continued to open up to me by telling me that she has become quite envious of her neighbour’s life. Before letting me know her reasons for feeling so envious of her neighbour she prefaced it by saying that she felt embarrassed for even thinking this way, and especially for saying it out loud. But we should never have to apologize for our feelings and there is certainly no right or wrong way of doing so.
Depression can be triggered by so many different emotions and I bet most of you would never think that envy could be part of that list, but it most definitely is and it most definitely can be both toxic and detrimental to our mental health and wellness even if it is a very normal human emotion.
She explained to me (not that she needed to) that her kitchen window and her neighbour’s kitchen window are across from one another and that she has a bird’s eye view into her neighbour’s life. What she sees through her kitchen window on a daily basis is how much love and support the matriarch of the family (who is a stay-at-home mom) has in her life whether it be from her husband who prepares dinners to her nanny helping her with her kids or from her sister who often drops by for a visit; just because.
Envy as you know is a cross between jealousy and anger and it assumes that someone else’s life is way better than our own. It is “the art of counting another’s blessings” instead of being grateful for what we already have in our life which creates jealousy or anger toward that someone else. Envy can also caste a shadow over our own successes and accomplishments and often draws many conclusions or untruths about others, so for an individual like myself who suffers with Depression and Anxiety, it only raises the bar for feeling even more inadequate than usual.
We may think that we know what’s going on in someone else’s “kitchen” which can bring about feelings of self-doubt and self-hatred and question our own self-worth on a whole new level but it’s all just another big fat lie that our illness tells us. Everyone struggles at something or with something and nobody’s life is perfect. What we see when we peek through that window when no one is watching will probably tell a much different story. I have said this time and time again, even the most famous and wealthiest people on this planet have struggles and that all the money and all the luxuries in the world cannot and will never fix that.
I encouraged my friend that now would be the perfect time to start journaling more as she has been wanting to do so and says she finds that it helps her sort through so many of her emotions when she puts her thoughts and feelings down on paper (I can’t agree more). I also mentioned to her that maybe while she is journaling it’s probably best if she dims the lights and close the drapes in her kitchen!
YouAreEnough 
You must be logged in to post a comment.