YouAreEnough

 

I haven’t stopped obsessing over the new Netflix Documentary “Tinder Swindler” since I watched it over the weekend after a friend highly recommended it to me (it’s since broken records for claiming the number one spot globally, which no Documentary has ever done before). 

I’ve passed on the recommendation to many others, many of whom have become as equally obsessed as I have. 

I myself have never used a dating app in my life. They didn’t exist the last time I dated over 30 years ago but I have had the pleasure of witnessing several single friends of mine over the years find their forever person using these apps but sadly there have been many more who have been left in tears from the disappointment and frustration that can come from trying to wean out all the fakes, liars and scammers that flock to these sites to prey on the lives of lonely, vulnerable people.

I can only ever empathize with people who have fallen victim to the fraudsters out there on the World Wide Web whether it be through a catfishing scheme I’ve seen on TV or read about or ones like the elaborate romance scam that took place in the Documentary “Tinder Swindler”. 

The Documentary focuses on Shimon Hayut (who has many other aliases including Simon which is the name he most goes by). He is an Israeli native who began luring women into his life several years ago through Tinder. He tricked his victims into believing he was a very wealthy man (billionaire actually), which he wasn’t. Instead he created a web of lies while gaining the trust of innocent women from all over Europe by taking them on extravagant and lavish dates all over the world.

These women wanted nothing more than to fall in love. He manipulated them into believing he loved them, wanting to marry them and one day have his children but meanwhile all he was doing was manipulating them into giving their life savings to him (promising to pay them back) in order to save him from his “enemies” in the diamond industry who were supposedly trying to hurt him (and he even went so far as to send them photos of his bodyguard with a bloody head) and then used their money to woo his next victim. 

Many people watching this unfold on their TV screens were thinking “how could these women be so naive or dumb?” while many others have since taken to social media to troll and shame these women for falling into his prey.

It’s so easy for us to sit and judge others as we watch from the sidelines and victim shame but we lose our focus and forget just how much courage and strength it must’ve taken for these women to come forward (there are 3 victims featured in the film) and share both their reality and horror with the world that took place at the hands of this scumbag narcissist who threatened them when they stopped sending money.

I think the biggest problem with victim shaming is denial. People looking on want so badly to believe that they would NEVER fall victim to these types of crimes. We see it all the time in cases of sexual and domestic violence as well. Asking a victim of sexual abuse why it took them so long to come forward or questioning why a person doesn’t just pack their bags and leave their abusive partner. It’s not always that easy and only makes it harder for the next innocent person to come forward.

We need to encourage victims (aka survivors) of all types of domestic, sexual and romance crimes to know that it’s not their fault and we need to remember that compassion, empathy and kindness towards others goes a whole lot further than blaming and shaming ever will.

*If you haven’t watched “Tinder Swindler” yet, don’t miss out! Go grab a bowl of popcorn and join in on this very important conversation. 

#tinderswindler #ponzischemes #catfishing #onlinedating #domesticviolence #sexualabuse #kindnessmatters #victimshaming #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #narcissism #netflix #documentaries 

Eight years ago this week I had two minor surgerical procedures done. I’ll spare you the details and just share with you that it was for a “lady” issue.

I was the perfect candidate for both procedures as I was in my early 40’s and done having children. 

It was honestly lifesaving. 

Two short months later though on April 4, 2014 I experienced a mental breakdown for the FIRST time ever in my life and well, you all kinda know the journey it’s taken me on ever since.

As mentioned in a recent Blog I wrote titled “The Pathway to Purpose”:  https://youareenough712.wordpress.com/2022/01/28/the-pathway-to-purpose/, I’ve spent a lot of time over the last (almost) 8 years now questioning whether or not I could’ve somehow stopped the onset of my illness from happening. Was there something I could’ve done differently? 

I’ve even reached so far as to wonder if those two minor surgerical procedures a couple of months prior somehow jolted a sudden surge of hormonal imbalance in my body. I could be grasping at straws here, and although it’s highly unlikely to be the root cause of my mental illness, I’m not gonna lie because it often lingers in the back of my mind; that, along with the great debate (nature vs nurture) as to whether or not it’s our genetic makeup or our environmental factors that have a greater impact on our behavior. 

The debate has been on going for centuries. Freud himself spent much of his career weighing in on the conversation during his many years of extensive research on our human development, behaviour and personality. 

Nature is defined as “genetics, hormones and traits that affect human behaviour, physical appearance and even diseases.” Whereas Nurture is defined as “environmental factors, childhood experiences, social relationships, upbringing, culture and experience that influence a person.”

According to both definitions along with my own personal experiences, my genetic makeup of having a parent who battled depression for most of my life and now in my more recent years of extensive and indepth therapy that has taken a microscopic look back into my childhood and upbringing, I have a much clearer understanding that I was quite likely predisposed to Depression long before that procedure in February, 2014 ever took place and that human development and a combination of our genes quite possibly depends on both nature and nurture happening at the same time when it comes to the many complexities and factors surrounding the development of several types of mental illness.

#naturevsnature #mentalillness #freud #hormonalimbalance #genetics #geneticmakeup #humanbehaviour #predisposed #depression #anxiety #mentalhealth #itsoktonotbeok #youareenough #yourmentalhealthmatters

I’m reminded everyday about how much my presence in this world means to so many others and I will do my best to keep reminding you too.

I may not always believe it especially in my moments of darkness. The truth can often feel twisted and misconstrued in times of great sadness, hopelessness and fear. But I know I’m not alone and I’m here to remind you that neither are you.

#mondaymotivation #youareenough #endthestigmatogether #youarenotalone #suicideprevention #suicideawareness #startaconversation #mentalhealth #mentalwellness

#itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #startaconversation #youareenough #motivationmonday

How are you doing today? No, like really, HOW ARE YOU? 

Normalizing conversations about our mental health is such an important step towards eliminating the stigma. 

Our mental health is just as essential as our physical health; they should not be thought of as separate and the more we are able to talk about our mental health and have these difficult conversations with others, the easier it will be to empower someone you love to open up and get the help they need.

I wanted to reshare a Blog with you today that I wrote several years ago where I talk about the true definition of I’M FINE. “I read somewhere that the average person tells 4 lies per day, 1460 per year, totaling 87,600 by the age of 60 and that “I’m Fine” is the most common lie of all.” In my Blog I create a dictionary of words from A to Z to use instead if when the next time someone asks you, how are you? and truth be told you aren’t “fine”. What words would you add to my list? 

https://youareenough712.wordpress.com/2017/10/27/how-are-you-my-a-to-z-through-depression/

Today I’m not feeling fine so I’m finding ways to refill my cup.   

How are you refilling your cup today?

#imfine #howareyou #startaconversation #normalizementalhealth #yourmentalhealthmatters #refillyourcup #endthestigmatogether #depression #anxiety #youarenotalone #youareenough #itsoktonotbeok 

I’ve been struggling a lot lately. 2022 has not been very kind to me so far but I know I’m not alone. 

One of the many reasons I know I’m not alone right now with how much I’ve been struggling is by a particularly higher volume of people who have been reaching out to me privately for support over the last couple of weeks or so to share their experiences or to just vent; many of whom are complete strangers and many more who are suffering in silence. 

It breaks my heart every time someone tells me that they keep their struggles with Depression mostly to themselves for fear of how others will react to them or out of shame but as I’ve said many, many times I’m just so grateful that by me sharing my journey so openly and honestly and giving others a platform is creating a safe space for someone to turn to who may feel as though all they need in that moment is someone who will listen to them or say, I understand.

Oftentimes when someone reaches out for support, even friends, they worry that they may be bothering me by dumping their own stressors on me or fear that they will trigger me somehow but here’s the thing, I welcome the distraction and although our journeys may be on different paths it feels good to be able to share with others who you know will not judge you or make you feel helpless and ashamed.

I know that one of the many reasons people are struggling more right now has alot to do with the “winter blues” (and of course Covid fears and restrictions are only making it worse). Many individuals find themselves feeling more irritable, sad and even lonely during the winter months. There is a name for it. It’s called S.A.D or Seasonal Affective Disorder.

A person who is already struggling with Depression can be greatly affected by S.A.D and this time of year may also exacerbate someone’s battle with Depression that had been lying dormant for sometime. I wanted to share with you a Blog I wrote several years ago that talks in more detail about some signs to look out for and ways to help ease its affect on you. (keep in mind it was written pre-covid!). 
https://youareenough712.wordpress.com/2018/02/15/im-s-a-d-the-february-blues/

Please don’t ever hesitate to reach out to me whenever you need to. If I’m not up for chatting at that moment (especially by phone) or not available we can always figure out a time that works better for the both of us. 

Do you suffer from the winter blues?

#seasonalaffectivedisorder #mentalhealth #mentalwellness  #iunderstand #keeptallking #imlistening #Depression #winterblues #suicideprevention #itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #safespace #bekindtoeveryone #endthestigma #strongertogether #youareenough

I just wanted to take a moment and follow up on the Blog I wrote yesterday titled “Another Sad Reminder” and to say a special thank you to the many friends and even strangers alike who took the time to share it to their own Social Media pages knowing that Cheslie Kryst’s sudden and tragic death by suicide early Sunday morning has left behind so many sad reminders which need to be talked about. 

*In case you missed it:https://youareenough712.wordpress.com/2022/01/31/another-sad-reminder/ 

Her death has left her many friends, colleagues and family not only devastated and in shock by her loss but many are also feeling an enormous sense of quilt for not seeing any of the signs that she was in so much pain. 

She must’ve felt so alone as she hid in her own darkness, too afraid that she would disappoint the world if she told anyone that she was suffering so deeply and so Cheslie continued to smile through her depression until it finally became too much to bare. 

The stigma surrounding mental illness is still very much alive. All we can do for now is to hope that the more we keep sharing, keep talking and keep listening the easier it will be for someone smiling through their depression to be able to one day reach across the table, grab hold of someone’s hand, look them in the eye and say; I’m not okay.

*I wanted to reshare a blog I wrote several years ago titled, “When Depression Smiles” after the tragic suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain: https://youareenough712.wordpress.com/2018/06/10/when-depression-smiles/

#whendepressionsmiles #smilingthroughdepression #endthestigmatogether #keeptalking #keepsharing #keeplistening #mentalhealth #mentalillness #depression #suicideprevention #suicideawareness #itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #youareenough #checkonyourstrongfriends #checkonyourhappyfriends #checkoneachother #wheredidmommyssmilego 

Since the Pandemic began close to two years ago stats have shown a sharp rise in people self-medicating with alcohol and many others drinking much more heavily than usual. 

Alcohol has since become a coping mechanism for many. It’s really not surprising though, especially during times when lockdowns have been enforced and there is nowhere to go and socialize.

I’ve never been much of a drinker, like ever. To be really honest it doesn’t take me more than a few sips to give me a buzz or one shot to make me tipsy, yet over the past two years I’ve found myself reaching for alcohol to help take the edge off. But it’s during those moments of despair that I quickly realize just how easy it would be to fall into a web of addiction even knowing that for many people like myself alcohol is also a depressant and can fuel a person’s anxiety further or increase their stress levels.

Alcohol is so often the butt of many jokes on our television screens and memes showing mommy needing her afternoon “juice” fill our social media feeds, getting lots of likes and laughing emojis from our followers.

Yes, drinking in moderation can be okay for some people, but for many others seeing these memes or hearing these jokes come across their screen which are glorifying substance abuse and who may already be caught up in a web of addiction may also be feeling as though drinking in moderation is an unattainable goal for them at the moment which could quickly escalate or trigger other serious issues associated with mental health and addiction.

It is why campaigns like “Dry Feb” are uber important and no laughing matter. “Dry Feb is a fundraiser that challenges you to go alcohol-free in February and raise funds for the Canadian Cancer Society.” Taking a month off from drinking alcohol can have so many great health benefits and can also help to reduce the risk of many types of cancer including breast, liver and pancreatic. 

I know that going completely dry, especially cold turkey can be quite dangerous for a person who drinks heavily but maybe by starting with setting smaller, more attainable goals like committing to cutting back on one’s consumption during the next 28 days could be a lifesaving decision for you or someone you love.

No matter what avenue you choose to participate or for how long you choose to go dry, raising funds for the Canadian Cancer Society will never be the wrong choice. 

So who’s up for the challenge?

Here is the link to join or to make a donation to the Canadian Cancer Society,

https://www.dryfeb.ca/users/sign_up

P.S. Only 47 more days til Spring 🙌

#alcohol #dryfeb #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #addiction #canadiancancersociety 

Yesterday was another sad reminder as to the many strong and beautiful faces that often hide behind the mask of depression. 

Yesterday was another sad reminder of how exhausting it can be to feel as though you still have to hide your pain and sadness.

Yesterday was another sad reminder as to how many people there are in the world who are fighting a battle we know nothing about. 

Yesterday was another sad reminder of how important it is to check on your strong friends, your happy friends and your friends who seem to have it all. 

Yesterday was another sad reminder just how cruel a disease depression truly is. 

Yesterday was another sad reminder that depression does not discriminate against a person’s gender, race, religion or social status.  

Yesterday was another sad reminder of how easily a depressed brain can be manipulated into believing that they are not enough. 

Cheslie Kryst, who took her own life early yesterday morning was a well-educated Lawyer, an Emmy nominated Correspondent for the entertainment TV show EXTRA and literally a beauty queen who was crowned Miss USA in 2019 seemed to have it all; well at least to the outside world that is. 

Her final Instagram post she made shortly before she died read “May this day bring you rest and peace”. If you followed Cheslie on social media and read those words yesterday morning you probably pictured her curled up on her couch under a warm fuzzy blanket on a lazy Sunday morning in January, a good book in hand, sipping a cup of coffee and enjoying the stunning view from her high rise apartment in the heart of Manhattan.

She seemed to have it all. But the heaviness that weighed on her heart from the pedestal for which she silently stood was just too much for her to bare. I get it.

My heart is aching for her family and friends.

I pray that you are resting peacefully now.

If you need help or someone to talk to please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline @1.833.456.4566 ~ CANADA or @1.800.273.8255 (TALK) ~ USA. Text and online options are also available. 

#chesliekryst #suicideawareness #suicideprevention #mentalillness #mentalhealth #itsoktonotbeok #endthestigmatogether #youarenotalone #youareenough #yourmentalhealthmatters #themanyfacesofdepression #highfunctioningdepression #startaconversation #rip

Many of you may recall that I wrote a blog a few weeks ago at the start of the new year where I chose a word for 2022 which I planned to use as my focal point to help me to navigate my way through another very uncertain year ahead. A word which could also help me set new goals and intentions for all areas of my life.

It took me the better part of a week into the New Year to decide on what that perfect word would be. I knew it needed to be a word which could help me to discover my purpose, rediscover my spark again, become my true authentic self and open up space for personal growth.

I finally chose the word “Discover”.

And today I’m taking my word for 2022 with me on a new venture by becoming an affiliate with an online boutique store called Banks Boutique. It’s a clothing and accessories company and offers something for everyone. Women’s clothing including plus sizes, children and men’s apparel, jewelry, accessories, shoes and much much more.

I have a great passion for sales as many of you already know and I hope this will be a perfect way for me to rediscover that spark for it, open up space for personal growth and help me with my goals and intentions.

Thank you in advance for all your continued support and encouragement. 

Here is the link to my website. 

https://banksboutique.com/?ref=KIMFLUXGOLD

Feel free to share it with your friends and family or message me for more info or to grab a link to a 5% discount off your first purchase. 

#banksboutique #onlinestore #discover #selfdiscovery #goals #intentions #personalgrowth #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #outofmycomfortzone #newventure #mywordfor2022 #thisorthat