Today I attended a magnificent and spiritual Mental Health and Wellness Day Retreat, hosted by two of the strongest women I know and I’m so grateful I get to call them friends.
Today I gave myself permission to just be in the moment.
Today I gave myself permission to escape from the clutter that consumes my mind daily.
Today I gave myself permission to experience joy.
Today I made connections with so many beautiful souls; we shared stories of inspiration and hope.
Today I learned.
Today I laughed.
Today I cried.
Today I had moments of anxiety, many moments.
Today I felt deep emotions.
Today I felt the kindness of strangers.
Today I felt rejuvenated.
Today I felt safe.
Today I looked at my reflection in the mirror.
Today I was gently reminded that I am stronger than I think.
Today I honoured “Me” and soothed my soul with some yoga, listening intently to meaningful guest speakers, journaling, an incredible healing sound bath and a delicious lunch catered by the “Messhall” where the retreat took place and is also owned and operated by one of the magnificent hostesses @eddybeeandtootsie. It’s located in Sutton. Be sure to check it out!
Thank you again to the glorious “Mrs. Bis” and “Tootsie” for including me in this magnificent and spiritual day and for making me feel so empowered.
And thank you to my beautiful friend Jodi for ensuring I got there (and back home safe and sound!). I am truly blessed to have so many amazing, kind, empathetic, giving humans in my life who stop at nothing to cheer me on Every. Single. Day.
Today is the start of CMHA’s (Canadian Mental Health Association) 71st annual “Mental Health Week” campaign which runs through until Sunday May 8th (that’s Mother’s Day in case you forget!).
Their theme this year is ‘Empathy’.
Empathy means “having the ability to share someone else’s feelings” and actively listening to them. When you are empathetic towards another human being you are also aware of their feelings; something which most people don’t realize, differs greatly from having “sympathy” for someone.
When we sympathize with someone else’s emotional pain and suffering it may come from a place of pity or sorrow or even judgment. While it is okay to have sympathy for others it does not necessarily build a connection with them or create a feeling of safety, openness, compassion and genuine understanding, which in turn may not always be helpful. Sympathy is often doing or saying what is expected of you based on another person’s circumstances or misfortunes.
Having empathy for someone though means putting yourself in the other person’s shoes and feeling your way into their lives by acknowledging their emotions as if they were your own and genuinely trying to understand where they are coming from whereas when someone is sympathetic to you they are only able to see through their own perspective.
Being empathetic towards another person is a very valuable asset to hold on to but being empathetic not only differs from being sympathetic it also differs in a way from being an empath (which I spoke about the other day in a vlog as to how much being an empath affects my health at times) because being an empath means not only feeling the pain of others but also absorbing it to the point where it can take a toll on your health and leave you feeling drained. But I will never stop being kind and compassionate and nurturing and feeling great fulfillment by helping others. It’s just a part of who I am, good or bad.
And I will also never stop being empathetic towards others either, especially when someone is dealing with a lot of emotional pain or suffering because I know firsthand that when a person feels both seen and heard it can sometimes mean the difference between life and death.
Being empathetic is good for your health and more important than ever before. I have felt the difference in my own life many times. Practice empathy, I assure you it doesn’t hurt!
SURPRISE!!! They’re back and we are ready to celebrate this year’s “Class of 2022” graduates.
As many of you know, I originally started a graduation lawn sign initiative in 2020 shortly after the Pandemic began because I wanted to find a meaningful way to honour our graduates, including my youngest daughter who at the time was all set to complete her final year of high school and was missing out on so many of life’s milestones and rites of passage that came along with it (and whom we are so extremely proud of for just completing her second year of her 4 year program in Interior Design).
In a matter of 5 weeks I sold and hand delivered over 700 signs throughout the GTHA that spring (with the help of my wonderful hubby), placing signs front and center on lawns everywhere but more importantly, putting smiles on the faces of so many people, both young and old alike. The response was overwhelming, but in a good way.
By the end of my campaign in June of that year I had raised $10k for Kids Help Phone with the incredible outpouring of support and generosity within these beautiful communities.
At the start of spring 2021 it quickly became apparent to me that our soon to be graduating class was once again about to lose out on those same deserving milestones and rites of passage due to the never-ending Pandemic; my middle daughter included who had been working so tiresomely online all year to complete her 4 year undergraduate Degree in Communications (and whom we are also so extremely proud of for just completing a one year post graduate program in Event Management).
By the end of last spring I had raised an additional $5k for mental health initiatives, bringing the total to $15k, this time though I decided to spread the wealth around to other smaller youth oriented community initiatives instead of donating all of the proceeds to just one place.
A couple of weeks ago I announced that I would not be doing another graduation lawn sign initiative again this year as I was focusing my efforts on my new venture @agentlereminderproject while continuing to support youth mental health as well. And in the first month we have already raised several hundred more dollars to put towards these very important initiatives and I’m excited to see where it will grow from here. For those of you who are not yet familiar with my new project please check out our Instagram page for apparel and products available (see link above).
But ever since making the announcement that I had decided not to do another graduation lawn sign initiative this year I’ve had an outpouring of people reach out to me from the community (many of whom may not have seen my announcement) saddened that I won’t be selling them again this year.
With a lot of self-reflection over the last couple of weeks I have come to realize that although I may have started the initiative back in 2020 because I wanted to show our graduates some extra loving during a really difficult time, at the end of the day, it truly has taken on a whole other meaning within itself and has grown into something even more purposeful than I could have ever imagined; something way beyond the parameters of any Pandemic. At the end of the day this initiative has started many important conversations in communities all across the GTHA and has helped spread some much needed awareness surrounding our youth and mental health; something we need more than ever before which is why I have decided to pick up my campaign right where it left off a year ago.
So let’s all work together to continue the conversation and spreading awareness for youth mental health by honouring a special graduate(s) in your life or within your community with a “Class of 2022” graduation lawn sign.
Please feel free to share with your family, friends, school communities etc. as well and help recognize all the deserving, hard working and resilient graduates (from Pre-school to Post graduate) across the GTHA. With your generosity and continued support I look forward to brightening up our neighborhoods once again this year!
*If you are affiliated with a youth mental health organization and would be interested in working together please feel free to message me privately or email us at: youthareenough@gmail.com
*Signs are $36 each. 4 options to choose from. Delivery fee may apply to some areas or pick up is also available near Dufferin and Rutherford. Etransfer only. DM or email youthareenough@gmail.com to purchase a sign today!
*A gentle reminder lawn signs are also available.
*A special shout out to my illustrator and dear friend Shawna Smoke who once again captured my vision so perfectly. Thank you 😊
*To learn more about my own personal mental health journey please follow my blog at: youareenough712.wordpress.com or check out my Facebook and Instagram pages.
*Kid’s Help Phone is available 24/7 across Canada. To reach a confidential counsellor anytime please call 1-800-668-6868 or text 686868.
Yesterday was National Superhero Day. Oops, I missed it!
Today though I’d like to honour the superhero in my life instead…yes silly, of course it’s Rich.
He may not be a character in a marvel movie and he may not wear a red cape but nonetheless he is my biggest protector and he is always there to swoop me off my feet and save my day.
*He will likely kill me though for posting this LOL*
He sacrifices so much for his family and I can honestly say that I don’t know where I’d be today if it weren’t for Rich and I’m not just talking about the last 8 years of our marriage either because he has saved me countless times before then as well.
He may not always understand me but he tries and it shows in his actions every day.
And even through the exuberant amount of stress he’s been under in the past several months he still continues to be my biggest cheerleader, he still continues to keep his sense of humour in tact and he still continues to love me.
You may not fight off infamous bad guys like the comic book heros do but boy what a badass superhero you’ve proven to be once again this week as you battle the shingles virus which has left you in terrible pain and looking as though you just lost an epic boxing match to Mike Tyson.
He may not be a character in a marvel movie and he may not wear a red cape but he’s bold, brave, strong and courageous just the same and I love you for all that and more, forever and a day.
It’s been a particularly draining week for me and my tank is completely on empty. Taking on the emotions and pain of others as though it’s your own can be super unhealthy for your mental health.
Many of you reading this already know about the portion of my journey in relation to my difficult and complicated relationship I’ve had with antidepressants, but many more may not so feel free to skim through the parts you may have heard before!
It’s been around five years now since I began the grueling and painstaking task of weaning off the last of my antidepressants and other medications that had been regularly prescribed to me to help treat my symptoms of Depression and Anxiety (I have daubled in them from time to time since; always with the same frustrating results as before though).
Prior to five years ago I had spent three very tiresome years trying one magical concoction after another (sometimes taking up to 3 or 4 different meds at the same time) in the hopes that something, anything for that matter would finally give me some relief. Instead though I found myself with even further complications from the over twenty different combinations of drugs I’d tried and at some point during that three year period as I so desperately clung to hope of finding the perfect combination for me I was further diagnosed with having “treatment resistant depression”. I remember how defeated I felt, yet I still kept trying.
Antidepressants can’t cure someone who is battling a mental illness (which is a big misconception for many and thinking that they will can be very impeding on your loved one’s road to recovery) but for millions of people out there they are a proven and very valuable way to help improve the balance of chemicals (neurotransmitters) in one’s brain and therefore reduce their symptoms in order to live a happier and more sustainable life. *It’s also important to note here that just because one drug works for someone doesn’t mean it will work for everyone.*
But even though many people do respond quite well to antidepressant drugs (I envy them!) it’s more than likely it took some time getting there because antidepressants are also by no means a quick fix. Most Psychiatrists will start a patient off on a very low dose and gradually increase it over many weeks in order to get to a therapeutic level (this can take anywhere from 2 to 6 weeks or sometimes longer) which can help to minimize side effects as well as monitor symptoms, but statistically, more than half of people taking antidepressants will also not respond at all to the first drug they are prescribed; but the good news is, there are plenty more types and categories to explore; trust me, I know! I even agreed to try a drug once that had I accidentally ingested certain foods I could immediately have a stroke and die (I carried a copy of the banned foods and condiments with me everywhere I went) **insert big sigh here**
The exact science behind how or why antidepressants work on some people and not on others is still kinda a mystery especially for someone like myself who was left feeling even more hopeless as I battled through one nasty side effect after another for three years straight, leaving me with a near one hundred pound weight gain, worsening symptoms of Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal ideations, concerning levels of inflammation throughout my entire body that had to be monitored by weekly bloodwork, low blood pressure and a severely weakened immune system which had my Doctor completely perplexed as she sent me running from one specialist to another due to so many mysterious complications that were suddenly happening within my body with each new drug I was prescribed. These specialists included Cardiologists, Rheumatologists, Neurologists, Dermatologists and Gastroentologists just to name a few! (P.S. I did a genetic spit test several years ago as well while at an inpatient facility to try and help solve part of the mystery for me and my team of doctors as to which drugs may work best for me…surprise, surprise, it was inconclusive).
And so it was time; my body, nor my mind could take much more abuse and so it was time to surrender to the fact that antidepressants were just no longer a viable or safe option for me.
It was a very scary and emotional time for both Rich and I which was also met with so much uncertainty as to where do we (and my doctors) go from here (ECT had already failed me as well by this point) when the one thing I’d believed for so long was going to fix me was no longer available to me. It was my new reality though and probably one of the hardest pills I’ve ever had to swallow (oh the irony!). But it wasn’t the end of my story.
My intention for writing this article today or any of my blogs for that matter is to share my own personal journey with you so that others who may also be suffering will feel less alone and to help more individuals understand that a mental illness is not a choice. This is my story, not anyone else’s but I really felt I needed to continue sharing this part of my journey again and maybe again and again especially of late because I have noticed my DMs have been flooded lately with people wanting to share their own personal trials and tribulations with antidepressants.
Since the Pandemic began, mental health concerns have been on a steady and very dangerous rise around the world and I feel as though antidepressants are beginning to be handed out like we would that of Halloween candy. By sharing my story I would never want to sway someone’s decision to try a certain treatment or in this case to take or to not take antidepressants as I know that they can be a lifesaving device for so many people, it just wasn’t the answer for me and my own personal journey but when it helps someone else then I’m all in; and I will happily cheer you on!
But I fear just from the conversations I’ve had recently that there are so many people out there who are not being monitored properly these days by an expert in the field of antidepressants aka: a Psychiatrist. I know how difficult and trying it can be to find a Psychiatrist to work with because the wait times are so dangerously long and there is such a shortage of them as well but if possible as I suggest to everyone who reaches out to me that you ask your family doctor for a referral right away and if you need to please don’t ever hesitate to go to your local emergency room and advocate for yourself to be referred to an outpatient Psychiatrist because I know from my own experiences that the wait times can be far less by doing it this way and depending on the circumstances much more immediate.
The other reason many people have opened up to me about their struggles with their antidepressants of late is that they have been feeling more depressed or anxious than ever before and that their medications they’d been taking had always helped them get through any rough patches and now they don’t seem to be anymore. Sometimes people who have been taking an antidepressant for a long time, even years may find themselves suddenly feeling more depressed or anxious and it’s quite possible that they have built up a tolerance to their medication or it’s also possible that their recent depressive episode is different than the ones they had experienced in the past and that the antidepressants they are taking may not be able to support this new episode.
I can only speak from my own personal journey and experience which has been met with one obstacle after another but I have continued to advocate for myself, with regular therapy the whole way through and not let outside noise deter me from finding other avenues to explore when I hit a roadblock with traditional medicine because as I stated above, antidepressants may not be able to fix everyone. And as much as I love my family doctor and trust her implicitly and she has been there for me and helps my Psychiatrists monitor my progress with their guidance but she will admit first hand that she is not trained in psychiatry medicine and would never try to do their job just like she probably wouldn’t want to perform open heart surgery on any of her patients either.
**update** I added a few pics from our adventure today; there wasn’t a cloud in the sky!
Today we are officially kicking off the 2022 #summerofrich season where Rich will be seen sporting a new t-shirt he so proudly designed and handcrafted himself recently which at the same time also sparked my latest idea for a new affirmation to add to @agentlereminderproject.
A Gentle Reminder…Be A Pineapple
-Stand Tall
-Wear A Crown
-And be Sweet on the Inside
It’s been a really trying and VERY difficult winter/early spring for us which unexpectedly now includes an added layer of physical setbacks as well as severe brain fog for me that I’ve been experiencing ever since my treatment took place a few weeks ago that’s left my entire body completely off balanced and beyond exhausted (I’m still hopeful though that this “psychological shakeup” is making way in order to remove the many blockades in my brain that have been holding me hostage for so long).
It’s been about 5 months since our last hike. We plan to stay close to home and keep it simple today; it’s probably best that I ease back into it slowly so I guess that means we will have to leave climbing to the top of Mount Everest for another day!
Today I just want to embrace the calmness and solitude I feel when I’m in nature in order to help distance myself from the noise in my head and begin to slowly reconnect with my body.
I feel such a deep connection to the beauty in nature which allows me to distance myself from the noise in my head and the expectations of others.
Nature is magical and mystifying and adventurous which gives me permission to distance myself from the noise in my head long enough to feel those moments of joy.
Being in nature feeds my soul and inspires my creativity which enables me to distance myself from the noise in my head and give me an opportunity to find some clarity and inner peace within me while I wander aimlessly along the trails, stopping from time to time to smell the flowers, listen to the birds chirping or sit quietly by the water’s edge.
Today as I take that first step in over 5 months on some muddy unmarked trails I will start by placing that invisible crown upon my head in order to be like a pineapple just as Rich’s shirt reminds us all to be because when I am wearing my invisible crown I am able to stand taller, feel more confident, empowered, stronger and worthy of my own admiration which also gives me the permission I need to be kinder and sweeter to myself!
My crown may feel heavy at times and I may need to keep straightening it but whenever I am wearing my crown it becomes a gentle reminder that I am deserving of becoming a Queen one day because afterall I’m already a warrior Princess.
What is your favourite part of nature?
***If you are interested in ordering a new gentle reminder…be a pineapple hoodie or t-shirt (pineapple included) or another gentle reminder from our #agentlereminderproject collection feel free to DM or email to: youthareenough@gmail.com
A portion of sales is donated to youth mental health programs.
“Never judge a person by the chapter of their story you walked in on.” ~ unknown
I recently reconnected with an old friend.
We used to “hang out” regularly at “Mommy and Me” programs when our kids were little. She opened up to me in our most recent conversation that she had suffered from Postpartum Depression (PPD). At the time I had no idea. She learned very early on how to mask it when in the presence of others as so many of us do when battling Depression. But our conversation quickly triggered many memories for me and it immediately brought me back to that time and place as I remembered how some of the other moms in our groups would gossip and judge her based on certain behaviours back then.
Many new moms experience Postpartum “Baby Blues” (BB) shortly after giving birth which usually lasts anywhere from a couple of days to a couple of weeks after delivery. Typical symptoms may include anxiety, sadness, overwhelm, irritability and difficulty sleeping. It’s totally understandable though given both the physical and emotional changes our bodies have just been through.
Page from my children’s book “Where Did Mommy’s Smile Go?”
Although PPD can sometimes be mistaken for the “Baby Blues” at first however unlike the BB’s, PPD doesn’t just disappear shortly following the first weeks of childbirth and will more than likely only intensify as time goes on, making it very difficult to tend to your baby’s needs or complete your daily tasks. Symptoms which may include thoughts of suicide can actually begin to escalate as early on as the pregnancy itself or anytime within the first year of your baby’s life. It is not uncommon for many new dads to also suffer from PPD as well and in some cases PPD can lead to Postpartum Psychosis in moms causing them very severe and dangerous symptoms of confusion, disorientation, obsessive thoughts, paranoia and attempts to harm their baby.
I never suffered from PPD, so I can’t talk of it on a personal level because as many of you already know from following my journey since its onset, my symptoms of Depression didn’t present themselves until I was in my early 40’s and my youngest of three children was eleven years old (she is turning 20 this coming Fall).
I’m grateful that my friend was able to seek proper treatment and find the help she so desperately needed at the time. I’m sad though when I look back now and remember how much others judged her, even going so far as to call her selfish for setting healthy boundaries for herself in order to do what was best for her and her babies…Selfcare is NOT selfish!
Although judgment is a natural instinct and sometimes we may not even realize we are doing it, we are all guilty of it at times whether it be by criticizing a stranger in the grocery store or gossiping about our best friend, either way, it was never okay to judge my friend’s choices or behaviours in the first place for things she could not control. Afterall, she was in survival mode.
Onesie from my @agentlereminderproject
We all need to remember to take a step back before judging others and try and understand where another person may be coming from and it really goes to show you that you never know what goes on in someone else’s home, let alone their own head therefore we should never judge a book by its cover whether its innocent or not. Afterall, we are all just trying to do the best we can in the moment with the resources that we have.
And a good lesson to keep in mind here as well is “judging someone does not define who they are; it defines who you are.” ~ unknown
Today I accomplished something I haven’t done in a really, really long time. Today I silenced the voices in my head that make me doubt my worth by stepping away from my fears and showing up for me instead.
It’s messages like this one (see pic) that are “gentle reminders” for me as to why I need to keep sharing my journey with the world even though my illness often doubts that my words could actually make a difference.
We all experience feelings of self-doubt from time to time in our lives; afterall we are our harshest critics, but when you are battling with chronic depression and/or crippling anxiety you often find yourself spending most of your days (and nights) overanalyzing every decision you make and doubting your capabilities and accomplishments.
Self-doubt can be very debilitating and likewise unhealthy while in the throes of depression and it often finds creative ways to paint some very ugly pictures in your mind; ones that tell you over and over again that you are not “worthy enough”, “deserving enough” or “good enough”.
Self-doubt also has a very cruel way of trying to stand in my way while in pursuit of my own happiness and meaningful opportunities. I continue though, desperately trying to stop it in its tracks with a kinder, gentler heart and by reminding myself that it’s okay to be more accepting of my strengths and all that I have to offer to the world.
I am blessed as well to be surrounded by so many people who continue to help me believe in myself and grow from my mistakes, who remind me of all the reasons why I should be proud of myself, who support my accomplishments and who show me why I am more than worthy, more than capable and more than “enough”.
My heart believes in me too; the same heart which I wear on my sleeve every single day, exposing my true authentic self and vulnerabilities to the world but I have given it some thought lately that maybe I should consider tattooing it on my forehead instead to ensure that it permanently sinks in?
“If you hear a voice within you say you cannot paint, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.” – Vincent Van Gogh
YouAreEnough 
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