YouAreEnough

After what felt like a lifetime of uncertainty—of wondering, searching, and not quite knowing what these unexplained symptoms meant—I finally got an answer earlier this year (something I’ve shared about before).

Neurofibromatosis Type 1.

Getting here hasn’t been easy, and the road ahead feels heavy once again. This season has been one of frustration and fear, but also one of learning—learning that rest, patience, and self-compassion are all part of healing, too.

Last Friday, I went for a blood test after work—one I’d booked online two weeks earlier. It might sound simple, but for me, even scheduling and navigating appointments takes energy: mental, emotional, sometimes physical. This one was no exception.

I arrived on time, handed over my requisition form, and within seconds was told they don’t perform those specific tests on Fridays. I just stood there, angry and exhausted. This was the very lab I’d been told to go to, and nothing online indicated otherwise.

My anxiety spiked. Tears fell out of sheer frustration. There’s been a lot of that lately—trying to navigate our broken healthcare system once again, this time with a new diagnosis.

Back in September, I had a phone consultation with the specialist clinic my neurologist referred me to—the only one in Canada focused solely on Neurofibromatosis, a rare neurological genetic disorder.

Earlier this year, after years of seeing doctors about what I now know are small tumours and café-au-lait spots scattered across my body, a biopsy finally confirmed it: Neurofibromatosis Type 1 (NF1).

That moment brought both relief and fear. Relief, because I finally had a name for what was happening. Fear, because now I had to face the unknown—what this means for my future, and what might come next.

Before I can have an in-person appointment at the NF Clinic—which might not happen until next spring or summer—I need to complete several tests: an MRI of my brain and spine (still waiting for that one), and specialized genetic bloodwork to identify the exact mutation that caused my condition.

So this morning, I went back to the lab to finally get that blood test done. Because it involves analyzing my DNA molecule by molecule, it’s much more complex than routine bloodwork. The results could take several months, and they’ll help determine how my care should be managed long-term, what potential complications to watch for, and whether my family will need testing too.

The hardest part has been the guilt—the quiet, heavy worry that I might have passed this gene on to my now adult children. I still don’t know which lineage it came from.

Over the years, the tumours and café-au-lait spots have continued to appear and grow, spreading slowly across my body, both inside and out. It breaks my heart that it took well over fifty years to get an answer for something that’s been visible since childhood. The fear of what lies ahead can be overwhelming at times, and I also fear that the more they continue to appear on my face, the more isolated I will become. 

But today, after finally getting that blood test done, I was grateful I’d given myself permission to take a planned mental health day.

Rich already had the day off for Remembrance Day, which made it the perfect chance to slow down together. Lately, life has just felt like… a lot. And sometimes, when everything feels uncertain, the kindest thing you can do is stop pushing—and simply breathe.

We spent the day doing a little bit of everything and a whole lot of nothing, enjoying the winter wonderland outdoors. It was exactly what I needed.

It reminded me that a mental reset isn’t wasted time. It’s part of healing.
It’s part of caring for yourself, especially when life feels like it’s moving faster than you can keep up. 💛

#Neurofibromatosis #NF1 #MentalHealth #PhysicalHealth #Wellbeing #MentalHealthDay #Reset #Frustration #Healthcare #Bloodwork #Genetics #Healing #YouAreEnough

“Depression is being colorblind and constantly being told how colorful the world is.” ~ Atticuspoetry


Today was one of those perfect fall days. The air crisp but not cold, the trees still clinging to that last burst of colour, and a quiet stillness that feels like nature taking a long, deep breath before winter.

I needed it.

My mind has been anything but quiet lately. A relentless hum of thoughts that never seem to rest, looping on themselves, louder than I can bear. There’s a certain kind of chaos that builds slowly, quietly, until one day you realize you’re carrying too much of it.

So I did what I always do when life feels too loud: I went for a hike.

Hiking clears space in my cluttered head, and nature gently reminds me that it’s okay to let go of the pain I can’t control. They work together as a reset button.

The #SummerOfRich season is fading now, and with it comes the end of the long days, the warmth of the sun, and that easy sense of energy. Tomorrow, the forecast calls for snow, and as much as that first dusting can look beautiful, it also brings something heavier for me: the cold. I hate winter.

Even in the brief shift of shorter days, I can already feel the familiar weight of seasonal affective disorder settling in, layering itself over the usual fog. It’s like a light dims both outside and inside me. When I’m not getting outside or moving my body, I spiral quickly — darkness finds its way in too easily. It’s a slippery slope into an abyss that’s hard to climb back out of.

That’s why today mattered. The hike wasn’t just about fresh air or pretty views. It was an act of self-preservation, showing up for myself, and a reminder that even when the world feels heavy and gray, there are moments of peace and space to breathe, waiting.

Winter is coming — and with it is the challenge of keeping my mental health from slipping further. But I’m trying to hold on to days like this one. To stay moving, stay connected, and remember that light still exists, even when it tries to hide itself for a while.


#winteriscoming #nature #hiking #mentalhealth #wellbeing #staymoving #itsoktonotbeok #youareworthy #youareenough #fall #chaos #gentlereminders #seasonalaffectivedisorder #breathe #daylightsavings #selfpreservation 

Today, we celebrate you — the man who holds our family together with love, laughter, and a steady, caring presence. You take care of me and the kids (Maggie included, of course!) in countless ways always with love, humour, and that quiet strength that keeps us feeling safe. You make our lives RICHer, and our hearts overflow.

Whether we’re chasing new trails or  laughing through yet another ridiculous rom-com, every moment with you is an adventure I treasure. Life with you is my favourite story 💕

May this year bring you all the joy, peace, and happiness you deserve. We love you to the moon and back, forever and a day!

#sixtythree #happybirthday #weloveyoutothemoonandback #foreverandaday #summerofrich

“Don’t be afraid to start again. This time, you’re not starting from scratch — you’re starting from experience.” — Unknown 

Wow… I can’t believe it’s been six months already since I started my new job on May 5th.

Time has flown by, but in so many ways, these past months have been about slowly healing and finding peace again.

Each day, I feel myself leaving behind a little more of the pain and trauma from my previous job — a place that made me question my self-worth and left some pretty deep emotional scars. Walking into this new chapter, surrounded by kind, supportive people who make me feel valued, has been nothing short of rejuvenating. It’s amazing what feeling appreciated can do for your spirit. It truly does go such a long way.

Leaving a toxic and unhealthy environment wasn’t easy, but choosing myself, my peace, and my growth was the best decision, especially when hearing from others who I am still in touch with that the shitshow continues to get even worse since I left. Hearing this somehow brings a strange kind of closure. It validates what I felt for so long — that I was doing an amazing job, even if leadership chose not to acknowledge it.

Today, I celebrate growth, self-worth, and finding joy where we once felt empty. 

#sixmonths #validation #growth #mentalhealth #selfworth #findingjoy #peace #mentalhealth #wellness #healing

I opened myself up to a vulnerable situation recently—one that I knew could reopen old wounds.

I’d already made peace with the past once before, or at least I thought I had. This time, I had no expectations. I’d forgiven quietly, in my heart, and moved on.

But life has a way of circling back, testing the healing we’ve done.
I told myself I could handle it. That I was strong enough now. Still, there was a small voice that whispered, be careful. 

And yet, I let my guard down. Allowing myself to feel, to hope, even just a little.
Now, I find myself reliving the pain I thought I had already worked through over the last several years.

Sadness. Disappointment. Vulnerability. Acceptance. Regret. Guilt. 

A quiet resignation. 

And resentment—toward myself, for stepping back into something I knew could hurt me.

It’s strange how old pain can feel so new again. 

Can revisiting the past bring healing? Or does it simply remind us why we had to let go in the first place. That’s where I’m at in this moment.

Healing is never a straight line. Maybe it’s a series of circles—each one reminding us how far we’ve come, even when it feels like we’re right back where we started.

#oldwounds #mentalhealth #wellbeing #boundaries #guilt #sadness #youareworthy #youareenough #validation #itsoktofeelyourfeelings #acceptance #iamstrongerthanithink #healing #myjourney #forgivenessinmyheart

Shortly after midnight (EST) last night, an entire nation went silent. It was as if someone tripped over a plug that powered a whole country.

Just moments earlier, hope was electric – buzzing through a sold-out stadium of 50,000 fans, all on their feet, anxiously waiting for another “Joe Carter” moment. In bars across the country, glasses were raised, last sips taken, and fans stood ready to flood the streets in celebration. Families and friends gathered in living rooms everywhere, holding their breath, knowing they were witnessing a moment they’d remember for a lifetime.

And then, with the final crack of the bat, a nation of new fans, lifelong fans, bandwagon fans, and next-generation fans alike was left gutted. Heartbroken. Crushed. In complete disbelief.

But, when all was said and done – win or lose – the Blue Jays gave us something far greater than just a game this season, especially after finishing dead last only a year ago. Over these past few weeks, they reminded us that it’s more than just baseball ⚾️. They reminded us what it means to come together as a nation. They gave us reasons to gather with friends and loved ones, to cheer, to hope, to unite, to believe in something bigger than ourselves, and to celebrate every heart-stopping moment along the way.

This team — Canada’s team 🇨🇦— has so much heart. It’s more than just baseball; it’s pride, passion, connection, and belonging.

Yes, the outcome wasn’t what we hoped for. But today, I choose to believe the Jays won something far greater than a World Series ring. They won the hearts of an entire nation that came together as one. And in times like these, that’s no small feat.

So to the players, the management, and everyone who made this season magical: I thank you. Thank you for the memories, the moments, and the pride that will carry us through until next year and many years to come.

Until next season, boys — Go Leafs, Go 🏒 😄

#BlueJays #proudlyCanadian #toronto #togetherasone #greatseason #heart #baseball #worldseries #heartbreaking #teamspirit #thankyou #anationunited #untilnextseason #mentalhealth #celebrateanyways @Bluejays 

What first began as a quiet poem and a labour of love written for my children in moments of stillness and self-reflection has grown into something far greater than I ever imagined. A story born from deeply personal experiences found its way into the hearts of others, becoming something beautifully universal. A reminder that our stories, no matter how small, have the power to touch lives. 

I never set out with the intent to become an author. I was simply a mom writing from the heart, seeking to make sense of my own struggles. But the more I wrote, my words began to carry a message larger than my own story, a message that eventually became a published children’s book. It emerged from a place of pain and love, from depression and hope, and with a simple wish that my children would always know that mental illness is not something to fear, that they are never alone, and that they are never to blame.

Through my journey, I have come to understand the quiet, transformative power of storytelling and how words can turn pain into purpose and vulnerability into connection. Writing, both in my blog and in my book, has taught me that in sharing our truth, it creates space for others to see themselves, and that healing begins through honesty and compassion.

Today, on National Author Day, I celebrate not just the act of writing, but the courage to speak openly, to honour both struggle and love, and to remind ourselves that by sharing our stories, we will break the silence together. 

#nationalauthorday #treatmentresistantdepression #anxiety #mentalhealth #mentalillness #wellbeing #writing #author #blogger #childrensbook #wheredidmommyssmilego #pride #gratitude 

Some days shine a little brighter – not because everything is perfect, but because life feels a little less broken. 

Last night reminded me what joy truly feels like. Shabbat dinner with dear friends, laughter echoing around the table, hands dusted with flour as we each shaped our own challahs; kneading not just dough, but a sense of belonging and tradition.

The evening flowed into a birthday celebration for one of my favorite people and then, an epic, unforgettable Jays win; our hearts racing with pure excitement.

It was the perfect way to close out another tiresome week. I found myself pausing, just to soak it all in.

It’s in these quiet, unexpected moments when joy sneaks up on you. The simple, beautiful moments that weave together the fabric of joy.

I carried that feeling into today, out on the trails on a cool fall afternoon, breathing in the crisp air, surrounded by the colors and scents of the season.

It’s in these moments: a shared meal with loved ones, a celebration of your people, a cheer that unites us, a quiet breath that grounds us.

The sacred and the simple. The grateful and the hopeful. The moments that linger long after the candles go out.

That’s where joy lives, waiting to be felt.

Let’s go, Jays! Let’s do it again tonight!

#momentsofjoy #shabbat #myfavouritepeople #gratitude #simplejoy #sacred #celebration #milestones #laughter #letsgobluejays #iwantitall #mentalhealth #wellbeing #nature #trails #fallcolours #belonging

Eleven years ago, this month marked the first of many hospital admissions in what would become a long and tiresome mental health journey. I was finally discharged more than three months later. During that time, I met a lot of people — some I eventually needed to distance (and block) myself from, and others who became genuine friends I still cherish today.

Last night, as I often do (sadly), I found myself scrolling through the websites of both Benjamins and Steeles Memorial (the Jewish memorial chapels in Toronto). My heart sank when I saw a familiar name. It was someone I’d met during that first inpatient stay back in October 2014.

She and I stayed in touch regularly over the years. She checked in on me often, probably weekly, if not more, and as recently as last weekend. She always took a genuine interest in how I was doing, often commenting on my blogs, sending me heartfelt memes, and reminding me that she was there if I ever needed someone to listen.

Her life was far from easy. In her short time on this earth, she faced profound challenges — both mental and physical ones that few truly understood. She rarely let on just how heavy those burdens were. Yet, despite everything she carried, she remained kind, generous, and full of heart. She gave her time freely, even when she had so little left to give herself.

As I write this, I can’t help but shake a deep feeling of guilt for not replying to her last message, the one she’d sent me a few days ago. I’ve had a lot going on lately, both health-wise and personally, and I just wasn’t in the headspace to chat. And now… she’s gone.

I don’t know what the right words are right now. I just know that life is fragile, unpredictable, and often unfair. I wish I’d answered her message. I wish I’d told her one more time how much her kindness meant to me.

I pray she’s finally at peace. I’ll carry her compassion with me moving forward. I’ll miss her messages, her warmth, and her light.

Rest easy, my friend. 💔

#tooyoung #mentalhealth #grief #guilt #physicalhealth #lightinthedarkness #inpatient #depression #anxiety #checkonyourpeople #resteasy #compassion #kindness 

I don’t even know how to describe what I’m feeling right now. I’m excited, exhausted, and hanging on by a thread. 

The Blue Jays are going to the World Series, baby!!!!

Ever since near the end of the regular season, I swear my heart’s been pounding out of my chest. But no matter what, I keep coming back for more—night after night.

These past few weeks have been insane. I’ve been on the edge of my seat, yelling at the TV, looking away during every opposing at-bat, and holding my breath at every pitch thrown to one of our guys, praying this next one might change the game. And last night, it did just that and more. 

I know I’m not alone. Millions of fans across the country are feeling just as shaky, hyped up, anxious, exhausted, and borderline delirious as I am.

And it’s not just excitement—it’s a full-body, emotionally draining, high-stakes rollercoaster.

The truth is, my anxiety doesn’t need any help. I’m already out here hanging on by a thread most days. But this? This has been next level. My chest tightens, my stomach’s in knots, and my heart races well after the final out, leaving me unable to sleep.

But I love it. I really do. I’ve been a loyal fan since long before they last won the World Series. I love this team. I love their fight. I love that they’ve made us believe again, especially after finishing dead last just a year ago. I love that this kind of stress means “we” made it, that we’re here after 32 years, and that we finally have something this big to hope for again.

The tears of joy, the elation, the sheer adrenaline? It’s worth it.

And I know I’ll keep doing it until this thing is over (in four games, 🙏), because this is what being a fan means: loving something so much it literally hurts.

So yeah, I’m tired. I’m wired. I’m anxious as hell. My eyes were burning all day from exhaustion, but I’ve never been prouder to be a Blue Jay’s fan. It’s such a feeling of community. And at least we’ve got a few days’ reprieve until the World Series kicks off Friday night.

Let’s have some more Springer Dingers. Let’s have some more Joe Carter moments. Let’s finish this and bring it home, boys.

#canadasteam #worldseriesbound #mentalhealth #anxious #excited #springerdingers #baseball #October #letsdothisboys #bringithome #alcschamps #wewantitall @torontobluejays