This memory showed up in my Facebook memories this morning. Four years later and what, at the time was just weeks after my children’s book was first published, is still one of several events and interviews I’ve participated in that has felt most meaningful and purposeful to me.

I had been asked to be a panelist at this event at a local library called Community Conversations where I was to speak about Mental Illness and Stigma. In preparation for the event I was sent a series of 4 questions beforehand on the topic of stigma in which I would be asked to discuss in front of the group along with giving a short bio about my journey, followed up by a Q & A from the audience at the very end.  

One by one each panelist discussed their views on (1) the harmful effects of the Stigma surrounding mental illness, (2) the most commonly held stereotypes about mentally ill people, (3) our strategies on how we as a society can help diminish the Stigma and (4) our thoughts on the important and urgent need for more access and funding to better educate the public about mental illness in order to increase understanding and empathy. 

I still remember how anxious and overwhelmed I was all day leading up to the event, right up until I sat in my big, comfy chair waiting for it to begin. I sat there looking around the room as the other panelists and guests arrived one by one and the anxiety and overwhelm just kept building. My head filled with so many negative thoughts. I felt like I was going to explode!

I wanted to run. No amount of breathing or grounding exercises seemed to be slowing down what was going on inside my body and mind either, but then the Moderator started to introduce the panel of guest speakers and when I started to tell my story to a room full of strangers all my anxiety and overwhelm seemed to dissipate.

I remember feeling a sense of belonging and that by sharing my story and speaking from my heart on a topic I have grown to have so much passion and understanding for and knowing that I could possibly help someone in that room feel less alone, feel like it’s ok to not be ok or feel a sense of comfort from within their own community made all the anxiety and overwhelm all worthwhile. 

Everyone in attendance had their own reason for being there. Some were mental health educators and professionals, some were mental health advocates, some were there looking for some guidance for their own mental wellness and some may have been there to seek advice on behalf of a loved one in need of support. 

I met some truly wonderful people that evening, many of whom I have since collaborated on several other projects with.

But whatever everyone’s reason were for being there, they all had a story to tell, we all have a story to tell and we definitely need more evenings like this one so that more and more people can have a safe space to feel like they can start telling their own stories and know that someone is listening. I know I want to hear it; how about you?

#memories #mentalillness #mentalhealth #stigma #endthestigmatogether #youareenough #choosekindness #itsoktonotbeok #startaconversation #educationiskey #dontsufferinsilence #speakyourtruth #courage #wheredidmommyssmilego #author #childrensbook #advocate #blogger

We were hoping to catch a glimpse of the salmon migrating upstream today, so we headed to a trail for a #summerofrich adventure where they’d recently been spotted. 

It started raining as soon as we got there. 

There was a cool breeze in the air. I finally felt ready for sweater weather. 

We walked toward the river, saw a father and son fishing, as well as a couple of salmon swimming underwater. 

The touch of the rain on my skin felt so freeing and exhilarating. 

I could’ve stood there for hours. 

I felt a sense of calmness surround me from the smell of the rain.

Listening to the sound of the rapidly moving water brought with it a soothing connection to nature.

We didn’t spend long there but just long enough to allow myself to be in the moment while letting go, or better yet, “washing away” some of my negative emotions.

Click here to feel my connection to nature today. https://www.instagram.com/reel/CyHKmCgORqx/?igshid=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==

#theriver #salmonmigrating #lettinggo #washingaway #negativeemotions #inthemoment #connectiontonature #smelloftherain #mentalhealth #depression #anxiety #mentalwellness #fallweather #sweaterweather #exhilarating #freeing #creditriver #youareenough #mentalillnessawarenessweek

I have a very difficult time disconnecting after work, weekends included. 


Work literally consumes my mind day and night. 


It’s been a huge adjustment for me having to go back to work full-time after a nearly 9 year hiatus. I certainly wasn’t prepared for it mentally, and then add to that, all my physical health struggles I’ve also been dealing with over the last 18 months, it’s left me feeling beyond exhausted and overwhelmed. 


I wasn’t expecting work to be this hard, especially since I had already worked here some 15 years ago. But so much has changed in the world since then though, technology being a big one and, well, we really can’t ignore the elephant in the room; that back then I was both physically and mentally able. 


I don’t leave time in my day for a lunch break as I am too busy and leaving on time at the end of my workday, well, what’s that like. I’ve been told time and time again from family and friends, and especially my therapist that whatever may feel so pressing in the moment will still be there tomorrow (or on Monday) and that when my day is done I need to shut off my computer and shut off my mind as well.


But, now, almost a year in, I have yet to allow myself the ability to do so. The guilt is consuming me. I have what feels like fifty things a day to do on my to-do-list and if I leave even one thing unfinished at the end of the day all I end up doing is spending my free time thinking about everything I am coming back in to do the next day so I may as well get it all done now!


I continue to try and train my brain to give me some grace as well as learn ways to separate my life between my workday and personal time.


I knew coming in to work this morning that my office was closing at noon today as it does before every long weekend. I made a conscious effort that no matter what felt pressing that today I was finally going to allow myself to take advantage of that perk for the first time since starting here. Noon came and went very quickly, but by 2 p.m., after dealing with an urgent matter, I shut off my computer, satisfied that I had completed enough off my to-do-list for the day and left. Still though, I felt panicked as to what Tuesday morning would look like but once I got into my car and started my drive home, the guilt drifted away and a smile filled its place instead as I began to think about what truly matters in my life and all the special plans I have going on this coming Thanksgiving weekend. A weekend that will be filled with lots of family time, love, selfcare, a very special celebration, and tons of gratitude. 


Happy Thanksgiving weekend to all my Canadian friends and family. I hope it will also be filled with family, love, selfcare, celebration, and tons of gratitude, too.


#Thanksgiving #worklifebalance #shuttingoff #gratitude #love #familymatters #celebration #ohcanada #disconnecting #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #longweekend #mentalillness #depression #anxiety #physicalhealth #guilt #grace #selfcare #mentalillnessawarenessweek #youareenough

*Trigger Warning ⚠️ Mention of Suicide, MAID

18 months ago today I participated in a clinical research trial for Psilocybin, which most of you who follow my journey regularly are already quite well-versed on by now. 

I was hopeful once again that this treatment, although in its infant stage at the time, felt very promising. I was hopeful that it could potentially be life-altering for me. Well, it certainly was life-altering alright, but not in a good way by any means and now 18 months later I am no closer to any sort of resolution than I was on day one in April of 2022 or when several months later a Neurologist told me that a circuit broke in my brain that day and hopefully it will fix itself. 

The good news is though, that I’m pretty sure by now that the endless, unrelenting numbness, shakiness, constant tingling in my hands and feet, daily bouts of brain zaps, the overwhelming sensitivity to noise and touch, body tremors and spasms day and night, weakness in my hands and lest we not forget the very rare and incurable disorder in my nether regions better known as PGAD, all of which I incurred during the treatment, isn’t likely to kill me. 

However, knowing what I go through on a daily basis because of it, along with my mental health struggles, has only made my thoughts of suicide that much stronger over time. As many of you were also aware, I had applied to the MAID program last spring (Medical Assistance in Dying) which I was told by one of the Assessors a couple of weeks ago that my case is considered to be in the “gray zone” right now due to the fine line between mental and physical pain, even though I have explored so many avenues both mentally and physically. She has passed my file on for further assessment since talking with both my Psychiatrist and GP recently but I will likely have to wait for more information in the coming Spring. 

I feel so desperate, exhausted and hopeless that I will never live a normal life again between my struggles with treatment resistant depression and all my physical health struggles now as well. It’s affecting my livelihood, my relationships, and my day to day life. I feel torchured by my body and mind 24/7.

Some days I don’t have a clue how I’ve gotten here. Some days I feel so lost. It feels so dark some days that I can’t even see the road ahead of me to know where I’m going. I’m trying my best to stay in the moment.

Today I received a call from yet another referral at a clinic in a downtown hospital which my Psychiatrist made for me not too long ago. It gave me a glimmer of hope again. It’s the first referral in months that wasn’t immediately declined and who is willing to at least meet with me first! And the best news is, I only have to wait 2 months til my appointment. It’s a small and uncertain win, but a win is a win!

#chronicpain #treatmentresistantdepression #awinisawin #eighteenmonths #clinicaltrial #Psilocybin #referral #medicalassistanceindying #suicidalideations #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #neurologic #neuroplastic #pgad #youareenough #youareworthy #stayinthemoment #mentalillnessawarenessweek

Today is the start of “Mental Illness Awareness Week”. 

This year’s theme is “My Story”. Its hope is to encourage people to share their own stories and experiences with mental health in order to help others feel like they are not alone. 

This has been my main purpose of sharing my own journey so openly and honestly for 6 plus years now; the good, the bad and the very ugly parts included. 

My mental illness has felt like it’s winning a lot lately, add to that all my unrelenting and still unresolved neurological issues and now my more recent stomach concerns too and it’s left me unable to focus on much of anything and with little desire to write anymore, but then yesterday I was reminded once again why I share my story after receiving another personal message from a stranger who’d found a Blog I’d posted two years ago on Facebook.

It gave me the push I needed today to take advantage of the summer-like temperatures on the 1st of October while still being able to take in the beauty of the Fall season. Our #summerofrich adventure combined two of my favourite things; nature and animals. 

Today felt like a win.

#mentalillnessawarenessweek #nature #animals #youarenotalone #mystory #yourmentalhealthmatters #youareenough #shareyourstory #summerinoctober #fallseason #itsoktonotbeok #itsoktoaskforhelp #mentalhealth #Peterborough #riverviewparkandzoo #treatmentresistantdepression #purpose #myjourney #thegoodthebadandtheugly 

Depression used to be a word I’d only heard about in textbooks. It was certainly never a word I’d have ever used to describe myself some 10 years ago. 

Who’d ever want such a label attached to their name? To be looked upon as “crazy” or “defective”. It’s hurtful, it’s stigmatizing and downright demoralizing.

It leaves you feeling broken.

Depression is not a one size fits all diagnosis, just like any other illness. 

It has opened up a whole other side of me I never knew existed before. So much I should be proud of. So much I am proud of.

I am not just my illness. I am so much more. And so are you.

#mentalhealth #mentalillness #depression #treatmentresistant #anxiety #iamnotmyillness #somuchmore #labelshurt #endthestigmatogether #youareenough #youarenotalone 

Happy birthday to my smart, fierce, beautiful, passionate, uber-talented baby girl 🎂 🥳 


As you hit 21 today, like in a game of Blackjack (21!), remember that life is about taking chances, and lots of them, even when you may feel like the cards are stacked against you or that you may lose sometimes, because you will never know the endless possibilities if not. Life isn’t about finding yourself. It’s about creating yourself. 


Never lose your sense of wonder. 


I love you more than you will ever know, Rachel, and no matter where life takes you, you can bet against all odds that I will always be your biggest cheerleader.


May your special day today be filled with sunshine and smiles, laughter and love, and of course, cake!


I wish you all that life has to offer. Keep dreaming out loud today and always ❤️ 


#happybirthday #birthdaywishes #makeawish #dreamoutloud #babyofthefamily #youngestsibling #twentyone #blackjack #youareenough #dreamoutloud #eatcake #futureinteriordesigner 

The other night I wrote that I’d been dealing with a very toxic situation in my life for the better part of 3 months now. To be honest, it’d actually been quite torcherous and traumatic some days. It was consuming my entire life. It was all I could think about and talk about and focus on for weeks and months now. I’ve not only felt the decline in my mental health from it, but with my neurological symptoms too. I am also pretty certain that it’s no coincidence and possibly the reason why I have lost 30 pounds over the past 2 months from my lack of appetite, constant nausea and an undiagnosed stress-induced ulcer that my doctor is still investigating. 

Overall, the whole situation had left me feeling beyond overwhelmed, emotionally exhausted and to the point that just days ago I seriously contemplated driving my car into a brick wall because I felt so defeated and trapped. And of course, just to make matters worse, being the empath that I am had left me further torchered by carrying the emotions of everyone else involved too, but as I also mentioned the other night, the situation has finally been rectified which means the healing process can now begin.

Tonight starts the holiday of Yom Kippur which is considered to be the holiest and most important day of the year in the Jewish faith and is as well, a day where many Jews fast and while doing so are encouraged to atone for any wrongdoings and ask others for forgiveness in order to repair the wrongdoings from the past year. 

It is also a time to forgive others and ourselves as well. It is important to come to Yom Kippur with a clean slate and forgiveness is such an important part of the healing process as “it allows us to let go of our anger, guilt, shame, sadness, along with any other feelings we may experience in order to move on.”

“Forgiveness isn’t approving what happened. It’s choosing to rise above it.” – Robin Sharma

Wishing all my family and friends celebrating, an easy, reflective and meaningful fast.

#yomkippur #forgiveness #meaningful #reflective #healing #trauma #introspection #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #youareenough #empath #atonement #wrongdoings #emotionallyexhausted #selfcare #nationalselfcareawarenessmonth #nationalsuicideawarenessmonth 

Repost *Please enjoy some of the highlights from #summerofrich 2023

Today is the first full day of Fall.

You can already feel it in the air at night.

I have to say that I do love summer more than all the other seasons combined but who could argue that there is just something about Fall that gives us a fresh outlook or perspective.

Fall gives us an opportunity for change, to meet new people, to set new goals and to find ways to motivate ourselves as we dive back into more regular daily routines.

The cooler temps and vibrant colours on the trees make us want to immerse ourselves in nature. Such incredible benefits for our mental health.

Fall often means more time to spend with family whether it be during holidays or sipping on pumpkin spice lattes or chowing down on Halloween candy.

With the winter blues on the horizon for many, Fall is a great time to embrace nature’s healing powers and resilience.

Describe your perfect Fall day.

Fall #autumn #change #goals #nature #resilience #healingpowers #endofsummer #winterblues #ilovesummer #summerofrich #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #vibrantfallcolours #coolertemps #whatisyourperfectfallday

For the better part of 3 months now I’ve been dealing with a very toxic situation.


The emotions that have arisen from the toxicity had seeped into every aspect of my life, leading to a decline in both my mental and physical wellbeing and leaving me feeling unworthy.


Several close friends and family (along with my therapist) have had the pleasure of listening to me vent my frustration and anger and sadness for weeks and weeks now. 


This post is for all of you who have listened to me with intent during this difficult time and allowed me a safe space to let my feelings be heard and supported. Today the situation was finally rectified and I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I have been relieved of a huge burden that has left me sleepless and crying night after night and anxious as fuck day after day for months now.


Thank you so much to everyone who continues to check in on me regularly and help me get through this crazy ride. 


Today calls for champagne 🍾 


#weightlifted #feelingheard #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #heavyburden #support #friendship #family #checkonyourfriends #toxicity #emotions #itsoktonotbeok #askforhelp #gratitude #youareenough