As each day passes I’m becoming more and more overwhelmed with sadness thinking of the possibility that our #summerofrich 2020 will be completely swept away by the current “Riptide” of Covid-19 but what saddens me even more is the thought that my kids (well 2 kids, one had to retire due to other commitments but would go back in a second lol) may not be able to spend the summer at their “home away from home”. The photo above is of one of my favorite paintings that Rachel made last fall upon her return home from that same “home away from home”.
Happy birthday in your faceRow row row your boat Olympic gold medalist
It’s such a magical place to be and it’s also where she has spent close to 10 summers at and where her and her big sister got to work side by side and paddle Moose Lake together all last summer.
Now close your eyes and imagine for just a moment the calm and beauty that Rachel captured in her painting as she painted it. Let’s try and fill today with that same calmness and beauty by sharing pics of some of your favorite memories of cool summer breezes, hot sandy beaches or maybe a warm summer rain (added bonus if they are camp photos!).
Albion Falls #summerofrich 2018Jesse: 1999 to 2011Shabbat Shalom
During the last week my girls have been occupying their time by baking lots of delicious treats for us to enjoy and one night this week Rich also spoiled us with a big pot of his yummy chicken soup with Matzah balls as well. Food not only sustains us and nourishes us, but it can also bring great support and comfort to us too. Sometimes food may trigger happy memories or even be able to connect us to our past. Food can also be a perfect opportunity to express our love for each other.
Food may have now become our central focus and possibly the most integral part of our daily lives since social distancing began and I only hope that no matter how many cookies you’ve already lost count of eating by now or how many bowls of chicken soup you’ve enjoyed so far that with each delicious bite or scrumptious spoonful it has given you a sense of security, a feeling of love and provided you some much needed comfort as you move about your day.
A beautiful “pick me up” email I received today on what feels otherwise very sombering. I always love receiving emails from Amazon informing me that I’ve just sold a book, but when I see that one person/organization bought 5 at one time makes my heart overflow with joy.
Remember it’s okay to eat that slice of cake or whatever the treat may be that brings you comfort after a long and stressful day, or on a hot summer’s eve to cool you off or maybe it’s a special Holiday treat that reminds you of a happy time in your life. Whatever the reason may be, go ahead and enjoy! Afterall isn’t it the simplest things in life that are often the ones to bring us the most joy even if for just a brief moment in time.
I was speaking with someone the other day about how overwhelmed, disconnected and alone she is feeling. I listened as she opened up to me about how she is struggling with so much self-doubt in her every day life when it comes to her role as a mom, a wife, a daughter and friend (pretty much me on a daily basis). She continued to open up to me by telling me that she has become quite envious of her neighbour’s life. Before letting me know her reasons for feeling so envious of her neighbour she prefaced it by saying that she felt embarrassed for even thinking this way, and especially for saying it out loud. But we should never have to apologize for our feelings and there is certainly no right or wrong way of doing so.
Depression can be triggered by so many different emotions and I bet most of you would never think that envy could be part of that list, but it most definitely is and it most definitely can be both toxic and detrimental to our mental health and wellness even if it is a very normal human emotion.
She explained to me (not that she needed to) that her kitchen window and her neighbour’s kitchen window are across from one another and that she has a bird’s eye view into her neighbour’s life. What she sees through her kitchen window on a daily basis is how much love and support the matriarch of the family (who is a stay-at-home mom) has in her life whether it be from her husband who prepares dinners to her nanny helping her with her kids or from her sister who often drops by for a visit; just because.
Envy as you know is a cross between jealousy and anger and it assumes that someone else’s life is way better than our own. It is “the art of counting another’s blessings” instead of being grateful for what we already have in our life which creates jealousy or anger toward that someone else. Envy can also caste a shadow over our own successes and accomplishments and often draws many conclusions or untruths about others, so for an individual like myself who suffers with Depression and Anxiety, it only raises the bar for feeling even more inadequate than usual.
We may think that we know what’s going on in someone else’s “kitchen” which can bring about feelings of self-doubt and self-hatred and question our own self-worth on a whole new level but it’s all just another big fat lie that our illness tells us. Everyone struggles at something or with something and nobody’s life is perfect. What we see when we peek through that window when no one is watching will probably tell a much different story. I have said this time and time again, even the most famous and wealthiest people on this planet have struggles and that all the money and all the luxuries in the world cannot and will never fix that.
I encouraged my friend that now would be the perfect time to start journaling more as she has been wanting to do so and says she finds that it helps her sort through so many of her emotions when she puts her thoughts and feelings down on paper (I can’t agree more). I also mentioned to her that maybe while she is journaling it’s probably best if she dims the lights and close the drapes in her kitchen!
I often have very good intentions by setting my mind on a task or by making a plan to do something in advance but then my illness tries to make other plans for me instead and last night was no exception. I was determined however to not let my illness stop me from attending a Healing Service at a Synagogue in Toronto that I’ve had in my calendar for the last couple of months and thanks to Rich I made it. We had originally planned to attend the January service but unfortunately it was just a few days after my concussion happened and so I made a promise to myself that I would make it to the next one, which was last night.
The Healing Services are part of the Centre for Spiritual Well-Being at the Synagogue and are meant to help those of us who “feel broken, turn to our tradition for strength and renewal” and “enrich our lives and strive for a sense well-being.”
Along my journey I have had the privilege of meeting many incredible people, some of whom have left an everlasting impact on my life in some way or another and the Rabbi leading the Healing Services has quickly become one of those incredible people for whom have left an everlasting impact on my life. She is a true Spiritual Leader with so much empathy and kindness in her heart.
I am not a religious person by any means, in fact if you follow my blogs religiously (that is what I call a play on words!) you will know that both my husband and I have struggled to find a place for God in our lives over the last several years but since meeting Rabbi Fryer Bodzin this past fall I have definitely found a place in my heart for Spiritual Healing.
Spiritual Healing (which is not defined by one religion or by one God) is more about finding a connection to something greater than ourselves and could be in a form of friendship, or being part of a community or even by a higher power. Spiritual Healing can help revitalize both our body and mind and also help us to find more meaning and purpose in our life.
I felt a sense of belonging last night, I felt a sense of friendship last night, I felt a sense of community last night and I even felt a sense of a higher power last night; a very loving and caring one as we delved into “The Mindful Way To Happiness”.
With Purim being less than a week away the Healing Service tied into the spirit of the holiday and the meaning behind the month of Adar which is the month in which Purim takes place on the Jewish Calendar. When you think of Purim you can’t help but feel happy and the month of Adar is meant for us to “increase in joy and happiness”.
I spent the evening listening and being mindful. I took comfort in hearing stories of other people’s healing. I heard reflections of how to face adversity and fear in the face, how important it is to seize the moment and how pursuing our dreams is key to finding happiness, something which has been a very big struggle for me along my journey.
I chose to sit quietly and just observe last night, soaking it all in because I quickly became overwhelmed with emotion and found myself fighting back tears for the better part of the evening. But as the evening was coming to a close and Rabbi Fryer Bodzin led us through one last exercise, a mindfulness one, she had me smiling from ear to ear.
This piece I wrote 4 years ago (link below) is still one of my favorite and most meaningful pieces I’ve ever written (before I started my blog). It showed up yesterday in my memory wall on Facebook and I felt like sharing it again with you.
Being a hockey (goalie) mom has been one of the greatest titles I’ve ever held. It’s been a few years since I’ve actually seen Jacob play as he’s now in an adult league and it seems shunned upon to have your mommy in the stands cheering you on (especially a neurotic goalie’s mom!) but at least I have the most amazing memories to hold on to. I rarely ever missed a game even during his last few years, I was there to cheer him on; nothing would keep me out of the stands (or behind the glass), not even when I was on a day or weekend pass from a hospital stay!
Yesterday was a good reminder for all of us just how fragile life truly is and that we should never take it for granted. Yesterday was also a reminder that no-one on this earth is invincible and that tomorrow is never promised. Today as the world mourns the loss of Kobe Bryant, his beautiful daughter Gianna and their seven friends that perished alongside them we must remember that Kobe was so much more than a basketball hero; he was a son, a husband, a father, a humanitarian and a legend. One of his many mantras that he lived life by was “live today to inspire tomorrow” and boy did he ever live up to this in so many ways for so many people.
When I heard the news of Kobe’s passing through a text message from our son I was at, of all places, a Shiva for a friend’s father who had recently passed away at the ripe ‘ole age of 93. For those of you who may not know what a Shiva is, it is a week-long mourning period in the Jewish faith which begins immediately following the burial. A Shiva allows for a parent, a sibling, a spouse and/or a child of the deceased to accept visitors during this period of mourning to give their condolences and to provide comfort to the mourners.
As the news began to spread feverishly around the world many people looked to find their own ways to comfort one another and find meaning from this tragic loss of life. And in that very moment, as I was surrounded by a room full of mourners I found comfort and meaning in one of Kobe’s many life messages as I suddenly found myself face to face with a grievance from my past by someone who had wronged me many years ago and who just so happened to be standing two feet in front of me! In that moment I needed to make peace in my heart because after all, tomorrow may never come. I’ve held a lot of anger and resentment toward this individual for all these years but suddenly it felt so insignificant and unworthy.
Throughout the better part of my illness I have spent a lot of time examining and re-examining past relationships including this one and I know that in order for me to move forward I need to learn how to let go of the pieces of my past that affect my wellbeing the most because life is too short and so yesterday I took another step toward finding peace in my heart after our brief but purposeful encounter! #itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #youareenough #courage #kindness #lifestooshort #depression #anxiety #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #purpose #letitgo Sent from my Samsung Galaxy smartphone.
YouAreEnough 
You must be logged in to post a comment.