Bette Midler is one of my all time favorite performers and song writers. I’ve had the pleasure of seeing her perform and if you were to ask Rich what my favorite movie or song is, he would probably say Beaches/Wind Beneath My Wings. But right now her song “From A Distance” is stuck in my head and its lyrics are so meaningful. I have a difficult time listening to music as it makes me quite emotional, but this song is worth every tear right now; after all we are one world now, fighting the same war; “From A Distance”.
From a distance the world looks blue and green And the snow capped mountains white From a distance the ocean meets the stream And the eagle takes to flightFrom a distance there is harmony And it echoes through the land It’s the voice of hope It’s the voice of peace It’s the voice of every manFrom a distance we all have enough And no one is in need And there are no guns, no bombs and no disease No hungry mouths to feedFrom a distance we are instruments Marching in a common band Playing songs of hope Playing songs of peace They are the songs of every manFrom a distance you look like my friend Even though we are at war From a distance I just cannot comprehend What all this fightings for From a distance there is harmony And it echoes through the land And it’s the hope of hopes It’s the love of loves It’s the heart of every man God is watching us God is watching us God is watching us from a distance
Many (and I emphasize the word “many”) of us are struggling with our mental health more than ever before right now which is why we need to remind ourselves to make sure that each day includes “Me Time”. Is it selfish? No F#*king way. Is it essential and non-negotiable? You better f#*king believe it is. We all need to hit the pause button more than ever. There are 24 hours in a day (don’t know how we would fill any more than that right now), so tell me which hour of the day do you prefer to spend your “Me Time”? And more importantly what are some of the ways you like to spend it?
Creating a Vision Board is something I’ve wanted to do and more importantly it’s something I’ve needed to do for quite some time now as part of my healing but it’s definitely not just a great activity for healing your mind.
Visualization is probably one of the most powerful things though that you can do to exercise your mind and now more than ever it seems like the perfect time for a creative and welcomed distraction. Now seems like the perfect time and best way to bring some clarity into our lives during these uncertain times. Now seems like the perfect time to focus our attention on something positive and purposeful.
What seemed important to us just weeks ago (shit at this point it’s more like days or hours ago), what we thought we needed in our life just weeks ago, what we envisioned for ourselves just weeks ago, what we hoped and dreamed for our future just weeks ago, what we thought was a priority in our life just weeks ago may all of the sudden have so much less value and may not even matter anymore all together when we can finally begin to heal from this tragedy.
Vision Boards can include images, words or phrases that affirm our intentions and help us stay focused on our goals. I decided it was finally the right time for me to create my Vision Board yesterday as my anxiety was causing me severe heart palpitations, numbness and uncontrollable shaking and a much needed creative distraction was in order.
Through my Vision Board I know that I need to continue to write, to continue to blog, to continue to share my journey, to continue to help others by sharing my children’s book, to continue to advocate for change, to continue to show empathy, to continue to listen to others who need to be heard, to continue starting important conversations and to continue to find a way to heal.
Creating a Vision Board doesn’t have to be an activity you do alone and you don’t need to be creative; you can even do them online with an App called Canva. But no matter how you choose to create your Vision Board, it’s a relaxing way to help nurture your mind and even a fun activity to try with the whole family, maybe even try doing a Zoom Vision Board Party with friends!
If you have ever created a Vision Board before I’d love to see them in the comments or come back here when you’re all done.
I haven’t slept much all week (it’s well after 3 am as I write this) but it’s not like that’s really out of the ordinary for me anyways (I write some of my best shit at 3 am). Life has been anything but ordinary this week for any of us as we try to collectively navigate our way through our new way of life and learn a whole new lingo while we’re at it.
I mean it’s not every day that the only words we hear on the street, on the news or on Facebook are words like State of Emergency, Lockdown, Quarantine, Self Isolation and Social Distancing. It actually feels quite ironic to me because as someone who suffers with Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal thoughts these words have pretty much defined my life for the last 6 years already. My illness makes me react to everything like I’m in a State of Emergency, it’s left me in Lockdown too many times to count, it’s paralyzed me with fear to the point that I’ve needed to quarantine, I’ve felt the need to self isolate when others make me feel like I am contagious and of course whenever I’m in a big crowd (like over 10 people) I am left begging for some much needed social distancing.
Suddenly the whole world knows what it feels like to be held in captivity, suddenly the whole world knows what it feels like when you feel you have no control over anything, suddenly the whole world knows what it feels like to have crazy, f#*ked up thoughts day and night, suddenly the whole world knows what it feels like to feel helpless and sad every single day while trying to make others understand that none of us chose or would ever willingly choose to live this way. Suddenly the whole world knows what it feels like to suffer with Anxiety and Depression every day. And now imagine navigating through all that lingo for 6 very long years or even more.
I have found myself writing a lot more than normal over the past week or so and posting way more than I ordinarily do but as I said above, these are far from ordinary times. I find writing is the only thing that’s keeping me going right now. My mind is so fricken cluttered with negative thoughts and writing is the best way to let my creativity explode and let that negative thinking explode too. I’m feeling extremely closed in (which I’m sure most of you are) and I’ve shed more tears this week than I thought was possible but writing and sharing help give me some clarity.
Sometimes I write in the hope of making you laugh, sometimes I write in the hope of distracting you, sometimes I write in the hope of engaging you in conversation, sometimes I write in hope of making you feel less alone, sometimes I write in hope of keeping you grounded or mindful and often I write just because it’s the only way of socially distancing myself from the State of Emergency going down in my head!
If you’re feeling lonely, vulnerable, isolated, anxious or afraid (or maybe all of them) right now then take a step outside for a moment and look up at the sky above you (wherever you are day or night) and know that no matter where you are in the world that we all share the same beautiful sky. So reach your hands up in the air as high up as you can, close your eyes, take a deep breath and imagine for a moment the whole world united by that same beautiful sky.
Ok so I’ve debated this for years (mostly with myself 🤔 ) but it still counts I think) but now I need a good honest answer more than ever! Why is it that our Professional Athletes, our Hollywood Actors and all other Elite Performers get paid so much f*#king money and are put high above society on a pedestal, idolized for their skillset and recognized for their efforts all in a far greater manner than those of us in society (and by us I don’t mean me) who put their lives at risk every single day for us, who risk the health and welfare of their loved ones for us and who sacrifice their safety and wellbeing for us. And now even more than ever in these unprecedented times.
But don’t get me wrong, I do miss seeing my Maple Leafs in action and I had just started to gear up for the start of the upcoming Baseball season to support my crumby Blue Jays, and ya I am probably one of the most “Starstruck” people you will ever meet in your lifetime and of course who doesn’t like to unwind sometimes to your favorite music after a long day but the true heros, the ones who deserve to be idolized and put high atop that pedestal, the ones who should be paid way too much f*#king money for their skillset and greatness for all that they do to make our lives better are the Essential Service Workers. So feel free to tag/ honour a special Essential Service Worker in your life, or give them a virtual hug today!
A beautiful “pick me up” email I received today on what feels otherwise very sombering. I always love receiving emails from Amazon informing me that I’ve just sold a book, but when I see that one person/organization bought 5 at one time makes my heart overflow with joy.
The term “Social Distancing” seems kind of ironic given the technological era that we live in which makes it nearly impossible to distance ourselves socially. Technology today allows us to not only never have to step outside of our homes again but it also allows us to still be the very social beings that humans instinctively are. Always having access to email, text messaging, Social Media platforms or being able to Facetime someone on the other side of the world any time of day gives us the opportunity to always stay social and can also allow us to stay connected to one another. Oh and the best part is that we never have to feel like we are missing out on each other’s lives.
Because right now we are physically missing out on each other’s lives more than ever and being able to stay socially connected during a time of “Social Distancing” makes everything feel a little less scary. Would you agree?
Just a few short months ago my husband was working for a company which is owned and operated in China. When the Coronavirus first hit China, several employees in his office were frequently travelling back and forth from there for both business and pleasure. The virus was still so new, so uncertain and seemingly so far away from this side of the world but precautions were immediately put into place and employees returning from China were being asked to stay home for a week and then eventually two.
But still it seemed so far out of our reach and not so serious, especially when the employees coming back from China didn’t seem too phased by what was happening just more inconvenienced and bothered than anything else for being told to self quarantine.
So for me and probably millions of others who continued to go about their normal daily routines, just keeping one eye on the news reports, but feeling no real sense of urgency thousands of miles away; suddenly all that changed in what felt like the blink of that same eye that had been passively watching the news from a world away.
I wrote a blog just ten short days ago on March 7, 2020 titled “Should I Add It To My List?” where I mentioned how I was not allowing the Pandemic to get the better of me even after it was declared a “Global Pandemic”. I already have enough stress, overwhelm and anxiety in my life to sink a ship but I wasn’t worried about contracting the virus or that my loved ones would either and I didn’t run out panic buying toilet paper or concerning myself with all the fake news reports I was reading but as you know a lot has changed since I wrote that blog.
The world is literally changing minute by minute now, right before our eyes and with each passing moment there is more and more cause for concern, more and more uncertainty and more and more desperation. But it wasn’t until I saw the devastation unfold in Italy that it truly made this feel so real as to how quickly things can go from bad to beyond imaginable.
I am feeling more and more helpless and completely unfocused or motivated with each passing moment and yes I have tried to turn away from the news but it’s like watching a horror movie when you try to look away but you find yourself hiding under the blanket with one eye peering out from under it; I know I’m not alone in feeling this way. The devastation our world is in right now is alarming, disappointing and yes it’s downright inconvenient to billions around the globe and not to mention right in our own backyard.
Because of the uncertain state of the world right now my youngest daughter is at home instead of enjoying her March Break with her friends on her Grade 12 Graduation trip they had been planning for their entire High School career and what’s even worse than that, with all this uncertainty going on will she even be able to attend her Prom or walk across the stage to receive her High School Diploma in June?
And this devastation has left many people unable to work, many possibly unable to pay bills or put enough food on their table because businesses are closing their doors and nobody can really say for how long at this point. And if you’re in search of a job right now all together as my husband is, well that just adds a whole other set of uncertainty and fear into the mix.
We are all dealing with so many mixed emotions and so much uncertainty, inconvenience and disappointment are among those emotions that we are dealing with but it’s perfectly okay to feel them all. We are only human after all; angry, frightened humans.
But today I also find myself wondering if the world will ever be able to bounce back from this, will we ever fully recover like we have with other Pandemics (all without the aid of social media), will life as we once knew it ever be the same again? Well maybe it’s better if it’s not, maybe if we are lucky enough, when this is all over, we will be left with a gentler, kinder and more united world to live in. It’s St. Patrick’s Day after all, so let’s all go searching today for that four leaf clover in a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow and make a darn good wish when you find it!
Boy did I pick the wrong decade to quit smoking. I came very close to caving today, probably the closest I’ve come in the 2 months since quitting. My mental health has gotten the best of me. I went to the store today where I’ve been buying my cigarettes for years, the woman working behind the counter asked me how I am doing and of course the tears began flowing down my cheeks as I stood there staring right through her at the shelving of cigarettes mounted to the wall above her head. I wiped away my tears, took a deep breath and decided maybe winning the lottery was a better choice for me today instead.
YouAreEnough 
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