State of Emergency

*May Be Triggering*


Just a few short months ago my husband was working for a company which is owned and operated in China. When the Coronavirus first hit China, several employees in his office were frequently travelling back and forth from there for both business and pleasure. The virus was still so new, so uncertain and seemingly so far away from this side of the world but precautions were immediately put into place and employees returning from China were being asked to stay home for a week and then eventually two. 

But still it seemed so far out of our reach and not so serious, especially when the employees coming back from China didn’t seem too phased by what was happening just more inconvenienced and bothered than anything else for being told to self quarantine.

So for me and probably millions of others who continued to go about their normal daily routines, just keeping one eye on the news reports, but feeling no real sense of urgency thousands of miles away; suddenly all that changed in what felt like the blink of that same eye that had been passively watching the news from a world away.

I wrote a blog just ten short days ago on March 7, 2020 titled “Should I Add It To My List?” where I mentioned how I was not allowing the Pandemic to get the better of me even after it was declared a “Global Pandemic”. I already have enough stress, overwhelm and anxiety in my life to sink a ship but I wasn’t worried about contracting the virus or that my loved ones would either and I didn’t run out panic buying toilet paper or concerning myself with all the fake news reports I was reading but as you know a lot has changed since I wrote that blog.

The world is literally changing minute by minute now, right before our eyes and with each passing moment there is more and more cause for concern, more and more uncertainty and more and more desperation. But it wasn’t until I saw the devastation unfold in Italy that it truly made this feel so real as to how quickly things can go from bad to beyond imaginable. 

I am feeling more and more helpless and completely unfocused or motivated with each passing moment and yes I have tried to turn away from the news but it’s like watching a horror movie when you try to look away but you find yourself hiding under the blanket with one eye peering out from under it; I know I’m not alone in feeling this way. The devastation our world is in right now is alarming, disappointing and yes it’s downright inconvenient to billions around the globe and not to mention right in our own backyard.

Because of the uncertain state of the world right now my youngest daughter is at home instead of enjoying her March Break with her friends on her Grade 12 Graduation trip they had been planning for their entire High School career and what’s even worse than that, with all this uncertainty going on will she even be able to attend her Prom or walk across the stage to receive her High School Diploma in June? 

And this devastation has left many people unable to work, many possibly unable to pay bills or put enough food on their table because businesses are closing their doors and nobody can really say for how long at this point. And if you’re in search of a job right now all together as my husband is, well that just adds a whole other set of uncertainty and fear into the mix. 

We are all dealing with so many mixed emotions and so much uncertainty, inconvenience and disappointment are among those emotions that we are dealing with but it’s perfectly okay to feel them all. We are only human after all; angry, frightened humans. 

But today I also find myself wondering if the world will ever be able to bounce back from this, will we ever fully recover like we have with other Pandemics (all without the aid of social media), will life as we once knew it ever be the same again? Well maybe it’s better if it’s not, maybe if we are lucky enough, when this is all over, we will be left with a gentler, kinder and more united world to live in. It’s St. Patrick’s Day after all, so let’s all go searching today for that four leaf clover in a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow and make a darn good wish when you find it! 

#pandemic #stpatricksday #stateofemergency #luckoftheirish #socialdistancing #selfcare #coronavirus #covid19 #checkonyourlovedones #youareenough #itsoktonotbeok #mentalhealth #potofgold #rainbow

Life is a Gamble

Boy did I pick the wrong decade to quit smoking. I came very close to caving today, probably the closest I’ve come in the 2 months since quitting. My mental health has gotten the best of me. I went to the store today where I’ve been buying my cigarettes for years, the woman working behind the counter asked me how I am doing and of course the tears began flowing down my cheeks as I stood there staring right through her at the shelving of cigarettes mounted to the wall above her head. I wiped away my tears, took a deep breath and decided maybe winning the lottery was a better choice for me today instead.

#ourluckhastochange #lottomax #olg #lottery #addictions #cravings #itsoktonotbeok #youarenotalone #youareenough #covid19 #coronavirus #anxiety #depression #masksoff #smokefree #sixtytwodays

We Could All Use A Time-Out

I kinda joked yesterday morning on social media that it was a great day to stay in bed because it was Friday the 13th and seeing that the world was in total chaos already it may be a good idea to do so. Boy do I wish that I had listened to my own advice because yesterday turned out to be a really difficult day, not what I will be sharing with you today. 

Now that the world has somewhat collectively hit the pause button for the time being it seems like the perfect time for us to take that time-out that I half heartedly joked about yesterday morning.

Time-outs aren’t just good for kids you know and seeing what is going on right now it couldn’t be a better time for one. I think we could all use a moment or two to “cool off”, I mean seriously have you seen the behaviour from some of us so called adults this week? 

Timeouts are a great opportunity to teach kids some valuable lessons but right now we adults could probably learn a thing or two from the kids out there before we all completely lose our minds. 

Taking a time-out is simple, although not always easy especially if you are in a full on temper tantrum. But the main goal for us to accomplish while we sit for a few moments in our time-out chair is to cool off, reflect and re-enter ready to effectively deal with whatever conflict has arisen.
You may need more than a few minutes of time-out depending how conflicted or angry you are feeling and it’s okay and I’m sure you have good reason too, unless of course it’s from fighting with someone in the grocery store over toilet paper! 

We are all genuinely feeling more frustrated than normal, more anxious than normal, more sadness than normal, more disappointed than normal and definitely more annoyed than normal all of which can turn to anger and much of which can turn toward others who we love.  

So take that time-out; maybe go for a walk, go meet a friend for a quick coffee, go punch a punching bag. Have your tantrum, sit in your time-out chair and cool off because right now more than ever we all need to be able to stand united to conquer the biggest conflict we are facing together and we can’t do it if we are trapped while waiting in a long line at the grocery store to buy toilet paper that someone else needs more than we do.

#adults #conflict #anger #tantrums #tempertantrum #timeout #youareenough #covid19 #anxiety #breathe 

Anxious over Corona

Yesterday was a difficult day for many and I know that there was alot to take in and that new information was being thrown at us from every news source; pretty much on an hourly basis. So it’s perfectly understandable that our level of anxiety may be higher than normal today. This is all very unprecedented territory and still very much unknown. I have compiled a list (through several Mental Health Experts) of some ways for us to cope with this type of anxiety. 

1.Take a break from the news or limit the amount of time you spend watching it, and try to filter it out online. Also please remember that half of what is being shared on Social Media is not always the truth.
2. Talk to someone (or text) about how you are feeling. Sorting out your emotions and feeling supported by loved ones is so helpful. Keeping your feelings bottled up will only cause you to  spiral further. 
3. Try to be present in the moment. If you are feeling anxious about catching the virus just let yourself know that right now there is no immediate threat to you and use lots of positive affirmations to remind yourself that you are safe.
4. Start journaling and writing down your thoughts and feelings of gratitude.

It’s ok to feel anxious or angry, or have difficulty sleeping or concentrating but the best thing we can all do right now is to keep washing our hands and following all the required steps to try and stay healthy for ourselves and our loved ones and remember that not every cough and sneeze means someone has Corona!

#selfcare #washyourhands #checkonyourlovedones #talktosomeome #justthefacts #coronavirus #covid19 #anxiety #youareenough  #youarenotalone #itsoktonotbeok #pandemic #overwhelm #vulnerability #mindfulness

Should I Add It To My List?

I have anxiety over just about everything, I mean jeewhiz, my anxiety even has anxiety! There are very few moments in my day where I don’t feel some type of anxiety or even worse; panic. I’ve seriously had 2 anxiety attacks already today and I haven’t even gotten out of bed yet, but then why is it that I seem to feel nothing when it comes to the worldwide pandemic surrounding the Coronavirus.

I’ve got some friends who have some pretty serious fears when it comes to contracting the virus and maybe since it’s actually surfaced right in our neighbouring communities their fears are very valid and legit, yet still I don’t seem to be concerned. 

I watch the news and see people stockpiling toilet paper and bottled water just in case there’s the slim chance that they are quarantined. We will still have running water in our home if that happens though, won’t we? And seriously how much toilet paper do you really think you will need? Not that I have to worry since Rich already has a secret obsession with buying toilet paper so I know we will always have enough!

Boy, whoever thought I’d be the rational one of the bunch, giving advice to others on how to stay calm. I didn’t know I had the ability to stay calm about anything. But here I am as calm as can be, not listening to “fake news”, (unless it’s coming from Trump’s mouth because that’s more for the entertainment value) and just sticking to reliable sources of information instead. 

Wash your hands with soap and water lots, avoid touching your eyes, nose and mouth (which is really hard to actually do if you start to consciously think about it), avoid contact with sick people and if you feel sick stay the fuck home! All common sense everyday habits that have applied to help prevent the spread of many flu’s and viruses since the beginning of time. 

Maybe I should have more anxiety and panic about the Coronavirus but maybe I don’t because maybe deep down inside my illness would welcome a two week quarantine, I mean it doesn’t sound all that bad, does it!


#coronavirus #covid19 #pandemic #anxiety #virus #washyourhands #quarantine