Author: Kim Fluxgold

I opened myself up to a vulnerable situation recently—one that I knew could reopen old wounds.

I’d already made peace with the past once before, or at least I thought I had. This time, I had no expectations. I’d forgiven quietly, in my heart, and moved on.

But life has a way of circling back, testing the healing we’ve done.
I told myself I could handle it. That I was strong enough now. Still, there was a small voice that whispered, be careful. 

And yet, I let my guard down. Allowing myself to feel, to hope, even just a little.
Now, I find myself reliving the pain I thought I had already worked through over the last several years.

Sadness. Disappointment. Vulnerability. Acceptance. Regret. Guilt. 

A quiet resignation. 

And resentment—toward myself, for stepping back into something I knew could hurt me.

It’s strange how old pain can feel so new again. 

Can revisiting the past bring healing? Or does it simply remind us why we had to let go in the first place. That’s where I’m at in this moment.

Healing is never a straight line. Maybe it’s a series of circles—each one reminding us how far we’ve come, even when it feels like we’re right back where we started.

#oldwounds #mentalhealth #wellbeing #boundaries #guilt #sadness #youareworthy #youareenough #validation #itsoktofeelyourfeelings #acceptance #iamstrongerthanithink #healing #myjourney #forgivenessinmyheart

Shortly after midnight (EST) last night, an entire nation went silent. It was as if someone tripped over a plug that powered a whole country.

Just moments earlier, hope was electric – buzzing through a sold-out stadium of 50,000 fans, all on their feet, anxiously waiting for another “Joe Carter” moment. In bars across the country, glasses were raised, last sips taken, and fans stood ready to flood the streets in celebration. Families and friends gathered in living rooms everywhere, holding their breath, knowing they were witnessing a moment they’d remember for a lifetime.

And then, with the final crack of the bat, a nation of new fans, lifelong fans, bandwagon fans, and next-generation fans alike was left gutted. Heartbroken. Crushed. In complete disbelief.

But, when all was said and done – win or lose – the Blue Jays gave us something far greater than just a game this season, especially after finishing dead last only a year ago. Over these past few weeks, they reminded us that it’s more than just baseball ⚾️. They reminded us what it means to come together as a nation. They gave us reasons to gather with friends and loved ones, to cheer, to hope, to unite, to believe in something bigger than ourselves, and to celebrate every heart-stopping moment along the way.

This team — Canada’s team 🇨🇦— has so much heart. It’s more than just baseball; it’s pride, passion, connection, and belonging.

Yes, the outcome wasn’t what we hoped for. But today, I choose to believe the Jays won something far greater than a World Series ring. They won the hearts of an entire nation that came together as one. And in times like these, that’s no small feat.

So to the players, the management, and everyone who made this season magical: I thank you. Thank you for the memories, the moments, and the pride that will carry us through until next year and many years to come.

Until next season, boys — Go Leafs, Go 🏒 😄

#BlueJays #proudlyCanadian #toronto #togetherasone #greatseason #heart #baseball #worldseries #heartbreaking #teamspirit #thankyou #anationunited #untilnextseason #mentalhealth #celebrateanyways @Bluejays 

What first began as a quiet poem and a labour of love written for my children in moments of stillness and self-reflection has grown into something far greater than I ever imagined. A story born from deeply personal experiences found its way into the hearts of others, becoming something beautifully universal. A reminder that our stories, no matter how small, have the power to touch lives. 

I never set out with the intent to become an author. I was simply a mom writing from the heart, seeking to make sense of my own struggles. But the more I wrote, my words began to carry a message larger than my own story, a message that eventually became a published children’s book. It emerged from a place of pain and love, from depression and hope, and with a simple wish that my children would always know that mental illness is not something to fear, that they are never alone, and that they are never to blame.

Through my journey, I have come to understand the quiet, transformative power of storytelling and how words can turn pain into purpose and vulnerability into connection. Writing, both in my blog and in my book, has taught me that in sharing our truth, it creates space for others to see themselves, and that healing begins through honesty and compassion.

Today, on National Author Day, I celebrate not just the act of writing, but the courage to speak openly, to honour both struggle and love, and to remind ourselves that by sharing our stories, we will break the silence together. 

#nationalauthorday #treatmentresistantdepression #anxiety #mentalhealth #mentalillness #wellbeing #writing #author #blogger #childrensbook #wheredidmommyssmilego #pride #gratitude 

Some days shine a little brighter – not because everything is perfect, but because life feels a little less broken. 

Last night reminded me what joy truly feels like. Shabbat dinner with dear friends, laughter echoing around the table, hands dusted with flour as we each shaped our own challahs; kneading not just dough, but a sense of belonging and tradition.

The evening flowed into a birthday celebration for one of my favorite people and then, an epic, unforgettable Jays win; our hearts racing with pure excitement.

It was the perfect way to close out another tiresome week. I found myself pausing, just to soak it all in.

It’s in these quiet, unexpected moments when joy sneaks up on you. The simple, beautiful moments that weave together the fabric of joy.

I carried that feeling into today, out on the trails on a cool fall afternoon, breathing in the crisp air, surrounded by the colors and scents of the season.

It’s in these moments: a shared meal with loved ones, a celebration of your people, a cheer that unites us, a quiet breath that grounds us.

The sacred and the simple. The grateful and the hopeful. The moments that linger long after the candles go out.

That’s where joy lives, waiting to be felt.

Let’s go, Jays! Let’s do it again tonight!

#momentsofjoy #shabbat #myfavouritepeople #gratitude #simplejoy #sacred #celebration #milestones #laughter #letsgobluejays #iwantitall #mentalhealth #wellbeing #nature #trails #fallcolours #belonging

Eleven years ago, this month marked the first of many hospital admissions in what would become a long and tiresome mental health journey. I was finally discharged more than three months later. During that time, I met a lot of people — some I eventually needed to distance (and block) myself from, and others who became genuine friends I still cherish today.

Last night, as I often do (sadly), I found myself scrolling through the websites of both Benjamins and Steeles Memorial (the Jewish memorial chapels in Toronto). My heart sank when I saw a familiar name. It was someone I’d met during that first inpatient stay back in October 2014.

She and I stayed in touch regularly over the years. She checked in on me often, probably weekly, if not more, and as recently as last weekend. She always took a genuine interest in how I was doing, often commenting on my blogs, sending me heartfelt memes, and reminding me that she was there if I ever needed someone to listen.

Her life was far from easy. In her short time on this earth, she faced profound challenges — both mental and physical ones that few truly understood. She rarely let on just how heavy those burdens were. Yet, despite everything she carried, she remained kind, generous, and full of heart. She gave her time freely, even when she had so little left to give herself.

As I write this, I can’t help but shake a deep feeling of guilt for not replying to her last message, the one she’d sent me a few days ago. I’ve had a lot going on lately, both health-wise and personally, and I just wasn’t in the headspace to chat. And now… she’s gone.

I don’t know what the right words are right now. I just know that life is fragile, unpredictable, and often unfair. I wish I’d answered her message. I wish I’d told her one more time how much her kindness meant to me.

I pray she’s finally at peace. I’ll carry her compassion with me moving forward. I’ll miss her messages, her warmth, and her light.

Rest easy, my friend. 💔

#tooyoung #mentalhealth #grief #guilt #physicalhealth #lightinthedarkness #inpatient #depression #anxiety #checkonyourpeople #resteasy #compassion #kindness 

I don’t even know how to describe what I’m feeling right now. I’m excited, exhausted, and hanging on by a thread. 

The Blue Jays are going to the World Series, baby!!!!

Ever since near the end of the regular season, I swear my heart’s been pounding out of my chest. But no matter what, I keep coming back for more—night after night.

These past few weeks have been insane. I’ve been on the edge of my seat, yelling at the TV, looking away during every opposing at-bat, and holding my breath at every pitch thrown to one of our guys, praying this next one might change the game. And last night, it did just that and more. 

I know I’m not alone. Millions of fans across the country are feeling just as shaky, hyped up, anxious, exhausted, and borderline delirious as I am.

And it’s not just excitement—it’s a full-body, emotionally draining, high-stakes rollercoaster.

The truth is, my anxiety doesn’t need any help. I’m already out here hanging on by a thread most days. But this? This has been next level. My chest tightens, my stomach’s in knots, and my heart races well after the final out, leaving me unable to sleep.

But I love it. I really do. I’ve been a loyal fan since long before they last won the World Series. I love this team. I love their fight. I love that they’ve made us believe again, especially after finishing dead last just a year ago. I love that this kind of stress means “we” made it, that we’re here after 32 years, and that we finally have something this big to hope for again.

The tears of joy, the elation, the sheer adrenaline? It’s worth it.

And I know I’ll keep doing it until this thing is over (in four games, 🙏), because this is what being a fan means: loving something so much it literally hurts.

So yeah, I’m tired. I’m wired. I’m anxious as hell. My eyes were burning all day from exhaustion, but I’ve never been prouder to be a Blue Jay’s fan. It’s such a feeling of community. And at least we’ve got a few days’ reprieve until the World Series kicks off Friday night.

Let’s have some more Springer Dingers. Let’s have some more Joe Carter moments. Let’s finish this and bring it home, boys.

#canadasteam #worldseriesbound #mentalhealth #anxious #excited #springerdingers #baseball #October #letsdothisboys #bringithome #alcschamps #wewantitall @torontobluejays

Every time I feel even the slightest bit of hope that our healthcare system isn’t completely broken, it finds a way to disappoint me again. And not just in small, manageable ways, but in ways that chip away at your spirit and break off just a little more of me in the process. 

Every time I start to believe, “Maybe this time it’ll be different.” It never is. When our healthcare system is supposed to help but ends up making things harder, it can feel isolating, exhausting, and even defeating.

That was my week.

A week filled with frustration, helplessness, and the quiet kind of anger that simmers below the surface. At the end of it, all that I was left with was an aching feeling of guilt for desperately needing care and a sense that maybe my health and my worth don’t matter.

So today, I walked. 

Rich and I took to the trails for a lovely #summerofrich, fall edition adventure close to home. 

I may have taken my frustration, helplessness, and anger with me but with the sun’s warmth on my skin and the gentle crunch of the falling leaves beneath my feet I felt a quiet reminder that not everything is broken. I let myself feel it all; the fear and exhaustion included. Then I let the trail give me space to heal. Out there, surrounded by trees starting to turn colour, I felt something shift. Not fixed. Not gone. But released. Just a little bit.

I even walked off the disappointment of the Jays game last night!!

My story is still unfolding. I’m still tired. Still angry. Still afraid. But today, I walked it out. And for now, that’s enough. Or at least, it has to be.

#mentalhealth #wellbeing #fall #changingseasons #healthcaresystem #frustration #helplessness #anger #brokensystem #exhaustion #hiking #trails #nature #healing #youmatter #youareenough 

Yoel Levy, who resides in Manchester, has made a unique name for himself on social media as “The Jewish Fitness Coach”, blending his passion for health with deep pride in his heritage.

Over the past year, Yoel has been running marathons around the world –dressed in a full Batman costume – in loving memory of Ariel and Kfir Bibas, two young brothers whose love for Batman and whose tragic story has touched the hearts of so many. Every finish line Yoel crosses is in their honour and in tribute to their beloved mother, Shiri.

Last week, while in Israel, Yoel had the privilege of meeting Yarden Bibas and the extended Bibas family at Kibbutz Nir Oz. The encounter left a powerful impact on him, strengthening his resolve to complete his ambitious goal: 12 marathons in 12 months.

As Yoel shared recently:
“Running in a costume for hours is no joke. It’s hot. It’s heavy. It hurts. But the WHY behind the costume is what keeps me going.”

Yoel’s next marathon is this Sunday, October 19, at the Toronto Waterfront Marathon. So close to home. I would love nothing more than to be there as he runs, not just for a finish line but for memory, for justice, and for light. I just pray my anxiety allows for it.

If you live nearby, let’s show up for Yoel – and for the Bibas family. Together, we embody strength, hope, and community.

Keep running for their memories, Yoel!!

(His next marathon is in 2 weeks…in NYC!)

Shabbat Shalom🧡🧡🧡


http://www.torontowaterfrontmarathon.com

#shabbatshalom #thejewishfitnesscoach #marathonrunner #bibasboys #batman #pride #hope #community #torontowaterfrontmarathon #neverforget #health #mentalhealth  @thejewishfitnesscoach

Today, on this Thanksgiving day (in Canada), the world feels a little lighter. Around the globe, Jews watched, unable to take a breath until the last of the living hostages, held in captivity and enduring unimaginable mental and physical torment for two long years, (two years to the day on the Jewish calendar) finally returned home. Reunited with their loved ones, the scenes were overwhelming, raw, magical beyond words, and impossible to describe without tears. A collective sigh of relief, joy, and heartbreak all collided in those moments.

Closer to home, I felt deeply grateful to be surrounded by loved ones today. (Missing @Jacob and my nephew @Noah 💙) as we celebrated my beloved mother-in-law, Ruth’s birthday (a few days late). Hearts were full and bellies fuller. The laughter felt heartier, the hugs a little tighter.

What would be the perfect cherry on top today? It’s a win by our Toronto Blue Jays! Let’s go, boys—let’s do this! 💙⚾️

Happy Thanksgiving! 

Happy Homecoming! 

Happy birthday, Ruth!  


Wishing everyone today and always continued moments of peace, gratitude, and joy.


Go Jays, Go!!

Please hug your loved ones a little tighter today 💛


Am Yisrael Chai!!


#happythanksgiving #happybirthdaywishes #happyhomecoming #gojaysgo #theyrehome #peace #gratitude #thankful #celebratingthemoments #amyisraelchai #wewilldanceagain 

One of my favourite things to do every fall is to watch the salmon swim upstream to spawn. There’s something deeply grounding about it — and fun, too! Their relentless push against the current, the sheer effort it takes just to move forward. I can watch them for hours, especially on a gorgeous day like today.

Over the years, I’ve had a front-row seat to what happens when someone you care about slowly begins to shrink away — physically and emotionally — after years of not moving their body. Not because they weren’t able. Maybe it became habit. Maybe it was grief, depression, or simply not realizing how vital movement truly is — not just for our muscles or hearts, but for our minds, too.

Witnessing that decline firsthand has only deepened my commitment to keep hiking, walking, and moving my own body. Movement clears the mental fog. It shifts our energy. It reminds us that we’re alive.

A walk. A stretch. Big or small — it all counts.

As I stood by the water’s edge today, mesmerized by the salmon, I found myself thinking: they don’t keep swimming because it’s easy — they keep going because it matters. And I think the same holds true for us.

Every time I watch the salmon fight their way upstream, I’m reminded that even when life feels hard — especially when it’s hard — we have to keep moving. Or in the case of the salmon: keep swimming.

#SalmonMigration #FallFavourite #MovementMatters #KeepSwimming #MentalHealthAwareness #WellnessJourney #StayGrounded #YouAreEnough #porthope #ganaraskariver #fishladder