Author: Kim Fluxgold

For anyone who has ever found themselves feeling alone while trying to navigate their way through a mental health crisis or are currently seeking support or refuge from their beloved child’s battle with a mental illness; do yourself a favour and grab a copy of Kristina Kuzmic’s new book “I Can Fix This” ~ and other lies I told myself while parenting my struggling child ~. 


I couldn’t put it down. 


I have been following Kristina’s inspiring journey for several years now. I read her first book, “Hold on, But Don’t Hold Still” during Covid and continue to follow her daily vlogs for inspiration and hope. I’m one of her biggest fans.


With her son Luka’s permission and insight, Kristina knew she needed to share her family’s “heart-wrenching and ultimately hope-filled journey” with the world. A journey, that while in the throes of it, and with only the best of intentions in mind, led her down a path filled with fear and desperation when she unexpectedly found herself trying to “fix” her teenage son’s struggles with depression, suicidal ideations, self-harm and substance abuse. 


Her vulnerabilty, anguish and humility (and humour) throughout the book is a reminder that although we may not be able to “fix” others, we can sure as heck keep showing up for them in whatever capacity they need, especially our own children. Sometimes, the best way to show up for someone is just by sitting beside them in silence.


I have always had a fixer mindset. I often feel a sense of responsibility to “fix” others, even though I can’t seem to “fix” myself. 


I am an overwhelmingly empathetic person who easily takes on the emotions of others. Oftentimes, though, it comes at the cost of my own mental and physical wellbeing. I put a lot of undue pressure on myself to try and “fix” everyone else.


I think it has become a way for me to feel in control or to try and cope with my own fears and helplessness. 


I know this is an unrealistic mindset. Maybe I can blame Bob the Builder who made me believe all those years ago that I can “fix” anything. 


Thank you Kristina and Luka for sharing your most intimate recollection during your most vulnerable and darkest days, and for reminding us that by showing up day after day, year after year for our most treasured gems is the most rewarding and valuable way to “fix” another human being. 


#empathy #parenthood #icanfixthis #fixermindset #mentalhealth #wellbeing #depression #suicidalideations #selfharm #addiction #youarenotalone #youareenough

With overwhelming feelings of hopelessness and intrusive thoughts lurking around every corner this past week, my therapist gently reminded me the other day that I need to choose me and put down the heavy burdens I’m carrying right now. 

Some days feel way heavier than others.

I wear other people’s emotions like a glove. I totally acknowledge that I tend to pick up everything around me as though it’s a brick. 

Life has handed me a ton of bricks over the last many years, most of which I can not control. 

This week, those bricks tried to bury me.

So this weekend, I choose me. 

Choosing to let go of all the bricks that are weighing me down. 

As best I know how. 

With the tools I have been given. 

And maybe just for a moment, those bricks will start to feel lighter, like a feather.

Dare to dream. 

#ichooseme #lightasafeather #mentalhealth #burdens #heaviness #tonofbricks #selfcare #wellness #itsoktonotbeok #youareenough #youareworthy 

For anyone who needs to hear this today (I for one do)…the next time you are feeling lost or inadequate, remember that you don’t need to be perfect or have all the answers. 


You are doing amazing, even on the days that feel unmanageable or near impossible.


I know so many of you are really struggling right now, whether it be emotionally, physically, financially, etc. 


Just know that you never have to walk alone. 


Our minds can play silly tricks on us sometimes, making us believe otherwise, though, like we are the only ones going through a difficult journey.


Just know that isn’t true.


Someone else may not know the extent to your pain or suffering, but we all experience it at one time or another.


We all know what it feels like to hurt.


Just know that you never have to walk it alone.


If you are struggling right now, please reach out to someone. I’m here if you need a listening ear. 


Sometimes the greatest gift you can give someone is just knowing they are there for you, not trying to fix anything or give you advice, just simply listening and reminding you that you never have to walk alone. 


#youneverhavetowalkalone #listeningear #greatestgift #mentalhealth #wellness #youarenotalone #youareenough #mondaymotivation #itsoktonotbeok #startaconversation 

Yesterday’s #summerofrich adventure was one of our toughest to date, but never once did I think about giving up.

I pushed myself, took breaks when I needed to, and stayed focused the entire time on the beauty, wonderment, and joy that nature brings me.

Having Rich lead the way, always with an outstretched arm just in case, along with his encouraging words and patience, turns every challenge into a memorable adventure.

#nature #hiking #adventure #challenging #mentalhealth #wellness #youareenough #wonderment #beauty #joy #niagaraescarpment #waterfalls

Today is the last day of Mental Health Awareness Month. 

It was a hard month for me. 

I’m the first to admit that I am my own worst enemy, which is why when I heard this quote the other day, it really stuck with me. 

“You’re not healing to be able to handle trauma. You’re used to trauma. You’re healing to be able to handle joy.”~ unknown

My emotions are running very deep right now, and I am feeling completely powerless over every aspect of my life. 

I realize that I spend so much time self-sabotaging my joy. It’s something I excel in. 

I feel like I am never good enough or deserving of happiness and that I am unworthy of success. 

Joy is the hardest emotion to embrace when you’re so used to the trauma, and to be honest, dealing with the trauma often feels easier than the moments of joy. 

It feels familiar. 

It resists change. 

I’ve missed out on lots over the past 10 years, having spent so long in survival mode trying to heal.

But I know that with change comes some risks too.

I know it’s worth the risk to open myself up to joy as I continue to unlearn the trauma.

Here is my moment of joy for me today. A long overdue haircut!

Shabbat Shalom. Wishing everyone a wonderful weekend, and as we head into a new month tomorrow, may it be filled with plenty of moments of peace, light, and joy.

Remember, you are not alone. 

#joy #trauma #mentalhealth #selfsabotaging #mentalwellness #youareenough #youareworthy #youarenotalone #haircut #mentalhealthawarenessmonth #momentsofjoy #myownworstenemy #survivalmode

*some content is not my own*

I’m at my breaking point today. I am mentally and emotionally spent right now. I know that so much of what has led me to my breaking point is beyond my control, yet somehow I’ve allowed it to drain every bit of energy I have left in me. Today, I have shed many tears, and my negative self-talk feels like it’s winning. 


Have you heard of the “Let Them” theory yet? It is a theory that went viral by New York Times bestselling author, motivational speaker, and my favourite Podcaster, Mel Robbins. 


The ‘Let Them’ theory is extremely valuable, because it allows us to let go of the burden of responsibility of things outside of our control,” says CCPA-registered psychotherapist and host of the The Inner Child Podcast, Gloria Zhang.


Mel tells her listeners that “instead of getting upset at other people’s actions or trying to control their behavior, just let them do what they’re going to do − and don’t take it personally.” *This does not apply in an abusive situation. 


The truth is, we can not control everything in our surroundings or the opinions, criticisms, drama, conflict, or negative thoughts of others. So the goal here is not to try and change a negative outcome that’s beyond our control but to let go of the expectations, anxiety and resentment that can weigh heavily on our mental health. 


Being at such a breaking point today feels like I am “Letting Them” win. 


I have a really difficult time detaching myself emotionally from situations beyond my control instead of allowing myself to focus on my own well-being and contentment. 


But by trying to put the “Let Them” theory into play, we can actually reclaim our power. We may not be able to completely erase our hurt but I can see how trying to embrace the theory in all aspects of our life, isn’t just “emotionally freeing” – it can also be quite empowering too.


I continue to say that I’m a work in progress, so the next time someone does something that I may not particularly agree with or something that affects me greatly, I am going to start by applying the “Let Them” theory. Perhaps placing sticky notes throughout my home, at work, and in my car with the words, “Let Them” on it is a great daily reminder and affirmation.


I won’t let them steal my joy, my light, my peace. I am in control of that, and so are you. 


Let them be upset.

Let them judge you.

Let them misunderstand you. 

Let them gossip about you,

Let them ignore you.

Let them be “right.”

Let them doubt you.

Let them not like you.

Let them not speak to you.

Let them not invite you. 

Let them leave you.

Let them choose someone else.


If they don’t want to support you…let them.


“Kindly step aside and LET THEM”.


“Hold tight to what you can control and release your grip on what you can’t control.”


Let them go.


The end. 


“Perhaps my next tattoo?*


#letthemtheory #melrobbins #mentalhealth #letthemgo #workinprogress #breakingpoint #wellbeing #empowerment #peace #light #joy #suicidalideations #mentalhealthawarenessmonth 

Today we celebrate our 29th wedding Anniversary 💖 


“A good marriage is when both partners secretly think they got the better deal” ~ unknown 


In a world filled with so much uncertainty, you are the one thing that I will always be sure of.


Thank you for choosing me to climb every mountain with and for continuing to hold my hand, always knowing just when to squeeze it a little bit tighter whenever I feel like letting go.


You are my today and all of my tomorrows.


Love you to the moon and back, forever and a day 

Happy Anniversary Rich 🎉 💗 


P.S. Hands down, I know for certain that I got the better end of the deal!


#happyanniversary #summerofrich #twentynineyears #iloveyoutothemoonandback #foreverandaday #everyoneneedsarich #myfamily  #loveandmarriage #myheart #beloved #mentalhealth #mentalwellness 

Old emotional wounds ebb and flow throughout my soul today.


They feel bigger than me at the moment.


Often, what at first thought may feel like nothing at all can wind up triggering some of the most painful reactions. 


I will not let them own me, though.


Healing is never an easy process.


Forgiveness isn’t either.


It ebbs and flows.


It has many complicated layers.


While mindfully peeling those layers of my emotional wounds away over the last many years though, I have learned to accept that it’s okay to feel sad sometimes after making a right decision. 


I’m done crying over someone or something that doesn’t deserve my tears.


I’ve accepted that I don’t have to give myself away to those who don’t deserve me.


Why should I keep hoping some people will change, but knowing they never will?


When we learn to put ourselves first, sometimes it comes with the risk of losing what we once thought were valued relationships, only to find out when we take a deeper look inside ourselves that our values never truly aligned at all. 


It’s been a risk worth taking and has helped me learn to accept that not all relationships are worth the effort or emotional pain they cause. 


Although I still struggle to heal the emotional wounds of my childhood, some of which may never truly heal at all, therapy has allowed me to see people as they are, and know that it’s ok to place them where they belong.


#healing #complicated #relationshipsworthfightingfor #emotionalwounds #ebbandflow #pain #iamenough #mentalhealth #myjourney #itsoktobesad #childhoodtrauma #familymatters

Finding solace.

Embracing the calm and serenity.

Reflection and tranquility.

Nature has a way of soothing your soul.

Nature is my go-to place to heal and recharge.

#summerofrich #unofficialstartofsummer  #longweekendvibes #mentalhealth #wellbeing #tranquility #calm #reflection #recharge #nature #hiking

“Walking in nature with a smile on your face is the best medicine,” Unknown. 


I’ve been doubting my writing lately. A lot.


It’s led me to stay away from blogging. 

But they say, “Write what you know.”


Well, my illness is what I know best. 


As a blogger, I use my own personal thoughts and emotions and experiences; always keeping it real.

Writing motivates me to feel.

It drives my creativity. 


It moves me to tears, gives me hope, allows me to dream, and helps me to heal.


My head, however, keeps telling me to stop writing, stop sharing my thoughts and emotions, and experiences.


Stop letting the world know exactly how I feel. 


Just zip it. No one cares.


Imposter Syndrome 101.

But today, as Rich and I ventured out for a #summerofrich hike, connecting with nature gave my overactive mind the respite it truly needs right now. 


It soothed me.


Mostly, it helped to remind me that I am enough and that I am truly blessed to have such an incredible community that supports me. 


#nature #bestmedicine #respite #community #connection #stopandsmelltheflowers #blogger #writing #writewhatyouknow #mentalhealth #wellness #depression #anxiety #keepingitreal #mentalhealthawarenessmonth #iamenough #youarenotalone