Author: Kim Fluxgold

A few months ago, I was invited to be a guest on a podcast, which is to be aired throughout this weekend at the first ever virtual “Psychedelic Lived Experience Summit” (Nov 21-23). 


Over the course of the 3 days you’ll hear from 50+ therapists, researchers, and patients/trial participants like myself with lived experience. They will be “exploring the potential and limitations of psychedelic treatments with raw stories that move beyond hype and fear, highlighting true complexity and deepening understanding.” This Summit is a community-powered event built by people who care deeply about ethics, safety, and transparency in psychedelic care by bridging clinical science and lived expertise.


Their motto is: “Behind every clinical result is a human story.” I am one of those stories. It is a story that has profoundly changed my life forever (and not in a good way). As many of you already know who have been following my journey for some time now, three and a half years ago, I took part in a Psilocybin (magic mushrooms) clinical research trial for treatment-resistant depression. For several months leading up to the study, I was very hopeful about this groundbreaking treatment. I thought this was finally gonna be the start to my healing journey, but instead, it left me with severe adverse neurological damage after being left to convulse for nearly 6 hours on a horribly uncomfortable couch. 


Along with the other parts of my story which I have been committed to breaking the stigma surrounding mental illness through my openness, willingness to share, vulnerability, storytelling and lived experiences, I decided I needed to speak out and share my experience in the trial once the results of the study were made public and jounalists from around the world began knocking on my door, or shall I say, slipping into my DM’s! Although I would never deter anyone from seeking potential lifesaving treatments for their mental health, I knew I needed to help raise awareness about the potential risks and lesser-known outcomes of psychedelic therapy. While many seek healing through psychedelics, my experience has been profoundly different. Through my advocacy, I continue to encourage open conversations about mental health and the importance of informed decision-making, which I believe are essential to understanding and healing. Sharing what happened to me has helped me reclaim pieces of myself. It’s helped me connect with people who understand. It’s given me a sense of purpose during moments when I’ve felt completely lost.


Along with my podcast being aired throughout the weekend Summit, I have also been invited to share some key highlights and subsequent challenges I’ve faced ever since my participation in the clinical trial with a panel of medical professionals. They will be exploring the long road of integration and recovery, from unexpected symptoms to the ongoing need for support to where our systems fall short and how to do better. The segment is called “Beyond Treatment: Integration, Aftercare, and Lasting Effects.”  


It will be airing live on Sunday at 11 a.m. @thepsychedeliclivedexperiencesummit 


Thank you for continuing to walk with me through all of this—through the darkness, the uncertainty, the tiny breakthroughs, and the moments when hope feels fragile. I am truly grateful. 


Shabbat Shalom 🎗 


#psychedelicsummit #treatmentresistantdepression #psychedelics #psilocybin #mentalhealth #mentalillness #wellness #youareenough #livedexperience

“No response IS a response.”

It’s a simple sentence, yet it carries a weight that can shift the way you see your relationships and your own self-worth. This idea has stayed with me for years, and recently, it’s taken on an even deeper meaning.

I was listening to a podcast by Mel Robbins where she shared three truths in life, which we all need to accept about other people. She further explains that once we learn to embrace these truths, not to fight them or bargain with them, our lives will become so much easier. 


And to be honest, she’s right.


Rule #1

If they wanted to, if they could, they would. 


People who care show you they care. Not always through grand gestures, but through effort, consistency, and consideration. If someone’s behaviour leaves you questioning any of this, then the lack of clarity becomes your clarity.


Rule #2

You can’t make someone else change. 


You can support someone, encourage them, inspire them—but you can’t transform them. Change has to come from within. Trying to mold someone into who you need them to be only leads to frustration, anger, disappointment, and often heartbreak. Yup, heartbreak. 


Rule #3

Stop being mad that other people aren’t who you want them to be… or need them to be.


This one is a rough pill to swallow because it requires acceptance. People show you who they are through their actions. Letting go of expectations allows you to see things as they are—not as you hoped them to be.


If truth be told, if someone genuinely cares about you, then they will care about how their actions affect you. They’ll listen. Pay attention. Take accountability and want to truly repair what they’ve damaged because “we all deserve relationships where respect, empathy, and accountability are non-negotiable.” 


Letting go of the people who aren’t meant to stay means needing to stop worrying about why they didn’t make it to our future. There is likely good reason for it. Their absence is no accident. It’s simply a redirection in our lives. And often, it is a form of protection.


Remember that!


I’ve had to learn these truths the hard way by forgiving someone in my heart who wasn’t sorry and learning to accept an apology I’d never receive. If you have to beg for it, it’s never gonna be sincere.


This doesn’t make you weak. It’s just further proof of exactly how strong you truly are. And sometimes the most powerful form of closure is the closure you give to yourself.

#thepowerofsteppingaway #forgiveness #noresponseisaresponse #melrobbins #threetruths #acceptance #selfworth #respect #empathy #accountability #apologies #closure #mentalhealth #wellbeing #relationships #trauma #youareworthy #youareenough

What the world needs now is love, sweet love…and kindness.

Today is “World Kindness Day.”

The world needs kindness more than ever right now, so as you go about your day today, inspire kindness, spread kindness, and make kindness the norm.

We can all spread kindness and love. Celebrate today by spreading that kindness and love onto someone else, and don’t forget to leave some for yourself too because a simple act of kindness can go a very long way! And it’s free too!

What does kindness mean to you?

#worldkindnessday #kindnessmatters #kindnessisfree #bekind #lovesweetlove #selflove #payitforward  #makekindnessthenorm #inspirekindness #selfcare #mentalwellness #mentalhealth #youareenough

After what felt like a lifetime of uncertainty—of wondering, searching, and not quite knowing what these unexplained symptoms meant—I finally got an answer earlier this year (something I’ve shared about before).

Neurofibromatosis Type 1.

Getting here hasn’t been easy, and the road ahead feels heavy once again. This season has been one of frustration and fear, but also one of learning—learning that rest, patience, and self-compassion are all part of healing, too.

Last Friday, I went for a blood test after work—one I’d booked online two weeks earlier. It might sound simple, but for me, even scheduling and navigating appointments takes energy: mental, emotional, sometimes physical. This one was no exception.

I arrived on time, handed over my requisition form, and within seconds was told they don’t perform those specific tests on Fridays. I just stood there, angry and exhausted. This was the very lab I’d been told to go to, and nothing online indicated otherwise.

My anxiety spiked. Tears fell out of sheer frustration. There’s been a lot of that lately—trying to navigate our broken healthcare system once again, this time with a new diagnosis.

Back in September, I had a phone consultation with the specialist clinic my neurologist referred me to—the only one in Canada focused solely on Neurofibromatosis, a rare neurological genetic disorder.

Earlier this year, after years of seeing doctors about what I now know are small tumours and café-au-lait spots scattered across my body, a biopsy finally confirmed it: Neurofibromatosis Type 1 (NF1).

That moment brought both relief and fear. Relief, because I finally had a name for what was happening. Fear, because now I had to face the unknown—what this means for my future, and what might come next.

Before I can have an in-person appointment at the NF Clinic—which might not happen until next spring or summer—I need to complete several tests: an MRI of my brain and spine (still waiting for that one), and specialized genetic bloodwork to identify the exact mutation that caused my condition.

So this morning, I went back to the lab to finally get that blood test done. Because it involves analyzing my DNA molecule by molecule, it’s much more complex than routine bloodwork. The results could take several months, and they’ll help determine how my care should be managed long-term, what potential complications to watch for, and whether my family will need testing too.

The hardest part has been the guilt—the quiet, heavy worry that I might have passed this gene on to my now adult children. I still don’t know which lineage it came from.

Over the years, the tumours and café-au-lait spots have continued to appear and grow, spreading slowly across my body, both inside and out. It breaks my heart that it took well over fifty years to get an answer for something that’s been visible since childhood. The fear of what lies ahead can be overwhelming at times, and I also fear that the more they continue to appear on my face, the more isolated I will become. 

But today, after finally getting that blood test done, I was grateful I’d given myself permission to take a planned mental health day.

Rich already had the day off for Remembrance Day, which made it the perfect chance to slow down together. Lately, life has just felt like… a lot. And sometimes, when everything feels uncertain, the kindest thing you can do is stop pushing—and simply breathe.

We spent the day doing a little bit of everything and a whole lot of nothing, enjoying the winter wonderland outdoors. It was exactly what I needed.

It reminded me that a mental reset isn’t wasted time. It’s part of healing.
It’s part of caring for yourself, especially when life feels like it’s moving faster than you can keep up. 💛

#Neurofibromatosis #NF1 #MentalHealth #PhysicalHealth #Wellbeing #MentalHealthDay #Reset #Frustration #Healthcare #Bloodwork #Genetics #Healing #YouAreEnough

“Depression is being colorblind and constantly being told how colorful the world is.” ~ Atticuspoetry


Today was one of those perfect fall days. The air crisp but not cold, the trees still clinging to that last burst of colour, and a quiet stillness that feels like nature taking a long, deep breath before winter.

I needed it.

My mind has been anything but quiet lately. A relentless hum of thoughts that never seem to rest, looping on themselves, louder than I can bear. There’s a certain kind of chaos that builds slowly, quietly, until one day you realize you’re carrying too much of it.

So I did what I always do when life feels too loud: I went for a hike.

Hiking clears space in my cluttered head, and nature gently reminds me that it’s okay to let go of the pain I can’t control. They work together as a reset button.

The #SummerOfRich season is fading now, and with it comes the end of the long days, the warmth of the sun, and that easy sense of energy. Tomorrow, the forecast calls for snow, and as much as that first dusting can look beautiful, it also brings something heavier for me: the cold. I hate winter.

Even in the brief shift of shorter days, I can already feel the familiar weight of seasonal affective disorder settling in, layering itself over the usual fog. It’s like a light dims both outside and inside me. When I’m not getting outside or moving my body, I spiral quickly — darkness finds its way in too easily. It’s a slippery slope into an abyss that’s hard to climb back out of.

That’s why today mattered. The hike wasn’t just about fresh air or pretty views. It was an act of self-preservation, showing up for myself, and a reminder that even when the world feels heavy and gray, there are moments of peace and space to breathe, waiting.

Winter is coming — and with it is the challenge of keeping my mental health from slipping further. But I’m trying to hold on to days like this one. To stay moving, stay connected, and remember that light still exists, even when it tries to hide itself for a while.


#winteriscoming #nature #hiking #mentalhealth #wellbeing #staymoving #itsoktonotbeok #youareworthy #youareenough #fall #chaos #gentlereminders #seasonalaffectivedisorder #breathe #daylightsavings #selfpreservation 

Today, we celebrate you — the man who holds our family together with love, laughter, and a steady, caring presence. You take care of me and the kids (Maggie included, of course!) in countless ways always with love, humour, and that quiet strength that keeps us feeling safe. You make our lives RICHer, and our hearts overflow.

Whether we’re chasing new trails or  laughing through yet another ridiculous rom-com, every moment with you is an adventure I treasure. Life with you is my favourite story 💕

May this year bring you all the joy, peace, and happiness you deserve. We love you to the moon and back, forever and a day!

#sixtythree #happybirthday #weloveyoutothemoonandback #foreverandaday #summerofrich

“Don’t be afraid to start again. This time, you’re not starting from scratch — you’re starting from experience.” — Unknown 

Wow… I can’t believe it’s been six months already since I started my new job on May 5th.

Time has flown by, but in so many ways, these past months have been about slowly healing and finding peace again.

Each day, I feel myself leaving behind a little more of the pain and trauma from my previous job — a place that made me question my self-worth and left some pretty deep emotional scars. Walking into this new chapter, surrounded by kind, supportive people who make me feel valued, has been nothing short of rejuvenating. It’s amazing what feeling appreciated can do for your spirit. It truly does go such a long way.

Leaving a toxic and unhealthy environment wasn’t easy, but choosing myself, my peace, and my growth was the best decision, especially when hearing from others who I am still in touch with that the shitshow continues to get even worse since I left. Hearing this somehow brings a strange kind of closure. It validates what I felt for so long — that I was doing an amazing job, even if leadership chose not to acknowledge it.

Today, I celebrate growth, self-worth, and finding joy where we once felt empty. 

#sixmonths #validation #growth #mentalhealth #selfworth #findingjoy #peace #mentalhealth #wellness #healing

I opened myself up to a vulnerable situation recently—one that I knew could reopen old wounds.

I’d already made peace with the past once before, or at least I thought I had. This time, I had no expectations. I’d forgiven quietly, in my heart, and moved on.

But life has a way of circling back, testing the healing we’ve done.
I told myself I could handle it. That I was strong enough now. Still, there was a small voice that whispered, be careful. 

And yet, I let my guard down. Allowing myself to feel, to hope, even just a little.
Now, I find myself reliving the pain I thought I had already worked through over the last several years.

Sadness. Disappointment. Vulnerability. Acceptance. Regret. Guilt. 

A quiet resignation. 

And resentment—toward myself, for stepping back into something I knew could hurt me.

It’s strange how old pain can feel so new again. 

Can revisiting the past bring healing? Or does it simply remind us why we had to let go in the first place. That’s where I’m at in this moment.

Healing is never a straight line. Maybe it’s a series of circles—each one reminding us how far we’ve come, even when it feels like we’re right back where we started.

#oldwounds #mentalhealth #wellbeing #boundaries #guilt #sadness #youareworthy #youareenough #validation #itsoktofeelyourfeelings #acceptance #iamstrongerthanithink #healing #myjourney #forgivenessinmyheart

Shortly after midnight (EST) last night, an entire nation went silent. It was as if someone tripped over a plug that powered a whole country.

Just moments earlier, hope was electric – buzzing through a sold-out stadium of 50,000 fans, all on their feet, anxiously waiting for another “Joe Carter” moment. In bars across the country, glasses were raised, last sips taken, and fans stood ready to flood the streets in celebration. Families and friends gathered in living rooms everywhere, holding their breath, knowing they were witnessing a moment they’d remember for a lifetime.

And then, with the final crack of the bat, a nation of new fans, lifelong fans, bandwagon fans, and next-generation fans alike was left gutted. Heartbroken. Crushed. In complete disbelief.

But, when all was said and done – win or lose – the Blue Jays gave us something far greater than just a game this season, especially after finishing dead last only a year ago. Over these past few weeks, they reminded us that it’s more than just baseball ⚾️. They reminded us what it means to come together as a nation. They gave us reasons to gather with friends and loved ones, to cheer, to hope, to unite, to believe in something bigger than ourselves, and to celebrate every heart-stopping moment along the way.

This team — Canada’s team 🇨🇦— has so much heart. It’s more than just baseball; it’s pride, passion, connection, and belonging.

Yes, the outcome wasn’t what we hoped for. But today, I choose to believe the Jays won something far greater than a World Series ring. They won the hearts of an entire nation that came together as one. And in times like these, that’s no small feat.

So to the players, the management, and everyone who made this season magical: I thank you. Thank you for the memories, the moments, and the pride that will carry us through until next year and many years to come.

Until next season, boys — Go Leafs, Go 🏒 😄

#BlueJays #proudlyCanadian #toronto #togetherasone #greatseason #heart #baseball #worldseries #heartbreaking #teamspirit #thankyou #anationunited #untilnextseason #mentalhealth #celebrateanyways @Bluejays 

What first began as a quiet poem and a labour of love written for my children in moments of stillness and self-reflection has grown into something far greater than I ever imagined. A story born from deeply personal experiences found its way into the hearts of others, becoming something beautifully universal. A reminder that our stories, no matter how small, have the power to touch lives. 

I never set out with the intent to become an author. I was simply a mom writing from the heart, seeking to make sense of my own struggles. But the more I wrote, my words began to carry a message larger than my own story, a message that eventually became a published children’s book. It emerged from a place of pain and love, from depression and hope, and with a simple wish that my children would always know that mental illness is not something to fear, that they are never alone, and that they are never to blame.

Through my journey, I have come to understand the quiet, transformative power of storytelling and how words can turn pain into purpose and vulnerability into connection. Writing, both in my blog and in my book, has taught me that in sharing our truth, it creates space for others to see themselves, and that healing begins through honesty and compassion.

Today, on National Author Day, I celebrate not just the act of writing, but the courage to speak openly, to honour both struggle and love, and to remind ourselves that by sharing our stories, we will break the silence together. 

#nationalauthorday #treatmentresistantdepression #anxiety #mentalhealth #mentalillness #wellbeing #writing #author #blogger #childrensbook #wheredidmommyssmilego #pride #gratitude