As Passover begins this evening, I can feel my grief and mental health sitting close beside me.
Several friends have reached out this week, asking if this first holiday without my mom feels especially hard. And they’re right—“firsts” after loss carry a particular weight. But the truth is more complicated. For many years now, my mom wasn’t at our holiday table. She would often decline at the last minute, usually saying she wasn’t feeling well.
At her funeral, I spoke about how much I loved Passover and Rosh Hashanah as a child—because of her. She created something beautiful in those early years, something warm and full of meaning. And so, as I enter this holiday now, I find myself holding two truths at once: sadness for all that she missed, and deep gratitude for the memories she gave us.
In the days ahead, as we gather around the Seder table with family and friends by my side, I know there will be moments that feel heavy. This time of year already comes with its own set of emotional triggers, and this weekend carries additional layers—marking three months since my mom’s passing, four years since a clinical research trial destroyed my neurological health, and twelve years since the beginning of my mental health journey.
It’s a lot to hold.
But Passover is, at its heart, a story of moving through pain toward something new. It reminds us that even in our most constricted moments, there is the possibility of release, of breath, of small steps forward.
So this year, I am choosing to show up as I am—carrying grief, honoring memory, and making space for joy where it finds me. I am choosing to continue to create the kind of holiday for my children that I once experienced, hoping they will carry those same warm memories with them forever.
Maybe that’s what this season asks of us—not to leave our pain behind, but to bring it with us to the table, alongside love, resilience, and hope.
Because even in the presence of grief, we are still allowed to gather, to remember, and to create meaning. And sometimes, simply showing up—with an open heart—is its own quiet kind of freedom.
#chagpesachsameach #happypassover #grief #mentalhealth #triggers #together #friendsandfamily
YouAreEnough 