Yesterday was my birthday. I was truly thankful to everyone who reached out to wish me a happy birthday. It always makes the day feel just a little bit lighter.
Birthdays are supposed to feel joyful and celebratory. The truth is, though, for the past 11 consecutive birthdays, living with depression, I have quietly carried a heavy guilt on my shoulders. It silently screams at me, “You should feel grateful,” when, inside, I’m actually feeling overwhelmed and sad.
With depression and anxiety always nearby, it can be super draining. This year, I felt a particular heaviness in my heart on the day of my birthday and even on the days leading up to it. Over time, though, I have learned to celebrate in ways that feel more manageable for me. Birthdays don’t always need to be big and loud to feel joyful and meaningful.
My survival is its own kind of celebration. I can hold space for my sadness and overwhelm and still honour my day in my own way, at my own pace.
Last night was just that, and just enough. A birthday dinner with Rich and our 3 kids.The people who matter most to me. We shared a meal, stories, and laughter and made memories together. Being present, catching up, and in the moment.
That was all I needed.
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YouAreEnough 