Today is the last day of Mental Health Awareness Month.
It was a hard month for me.
I’m the first to admit that I am my own worst enemy, which is why when I heard this quote the other day, it really stuck with me.
“You’re not healing to be able to handle trauma. You’re used to trauma. You’re healing to be able to handle joy.”~ unknown
My emotions are running very deep right now, and I am feeling completely powerless over every aspect of my life.
I realize that I spend so much time self-sabotaging my joy. It’s something I excel in.
I feel like I am never good enough or deserving of happiness and that I am unworthy of success.
Joy is the hardest emotion to embrace when you’re so used to the trauma, and to be honest, dealing with the trauma often feels easier than the moments of joy.
It feels familiar.
It resists change.
I’ve missed out on lots over the past 10 years, having spent so long in survival mode trying to heal.
But I know that with change comes some risks too.
I know it’s worth the risk to open myself up to joy as I continue to unlearn the trauma.
Here is my moment of joy for me today. A long overdue haircut!
Shabbat Shalom. Wishing everyone a wonderful weekend, and as we head into a new month tomorrow, may it be filled with plenty of moments of peace, light, and joy.
Remember, you are not alone.
#joy #trauma #mentalhealth #selfsabotaging #mentalwellness #youareenough #youareworthy #youarenotalone #haircut #mentalhealthawarenessmonth #momentsofjoy #myownworstenemy #survivalmode
YouAreEnough 
Wow! Beautifully said. Reading this, I could have sworn I was reading about myself for a minute. This hit home all too well for me. I can relate in more ways than one. This year has also been a struggle for me as well. A lot of times, I am also my worst enemy, I self sabotage myself a lot as well. I don’t feel worthy a lot of the time, and I feel I am not worth being loved. I know exactly how you feel. You are definitely not alone💕💜
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To add to that last comment: I also have a lot of past trauma that I am still healing from and I’ve also sacrificed my own joy and happiness to continue to work towards healing. It isn’t easy by any means, but please know you don’t have to do it alone. 💕💜
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Thank you for sharing ❤️. It is always helpful to know you are not alone 😊
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Yes, very much so 💕💜
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