Let Them Theory

*some content is not my own*

I’m at my breaking point today. I am mentally and emotionally spent right now. I know that so much of what has led me to my breaking point is beyond my control, yet somehow I’ve allowed it to drain every bit of energy I have left in me. Today, I have shed many tears, and my negative self-talk feels like it’s winning. 


Have you heard of the “Let Them” theory yet? It is a theory that went viral by New York Times bestselling author, motivational speaker, and my favourite Podcaster, Mel Robbins. 


The ‘Let Them’ theory is extremely valuable, because it allows us to let go of the burden of responsibility of things outside of our control,” says CCPA-registered psychotherapist and host of the The Inner Child Podcast, Gloria Zhang.


Mel tells her listeners that “instead of getting upset at other people’s actions or trying to control their behavior, just let them do what they’re going to do − and don’t take it personally.” *This does not apply in an abusive situation. 


The truth is, we can not control everything in our surroundings or the opinions, criticisms, drama, conflict, or negative thoughts of others. So the goal here is not to try and change a negative outcome that’s beyond our control but to let go of the expectations, anxiety and resentment that can weigh heavily on our mental health. 


Being at such a breaking point today feels like I am “Letting Them” win. 


I have a really difficult time detaching myself emotionally from situations beyond my control instead of allowing myself to focus on my own well-being and contentment. 


But by trying to put the “Let Them” theory into play, we can actually reclaim our power. We may not be able to completely erase our hurt but I can see how trying to embrace the theory in all aspects of our life, isn’t just “emotionally freeing” – it can also be quite empowering too.


I continue to say that I’m a work in progress, so the next time someone does something that I may not particularly agree with or something that affects me greatly, I am going to start by applying the “Let Them” theory. Perhaps placing sticky notes throughout my home, at work, and in my car with the words, “Let Them” on it is a great daily reminder and affirmation.


I won’t let them steal my joy, my light, my peace. I am in control of that, and so are you. 


Let them be upset.

Let them judge you.

Let them misunderstand you. 

Let them gossip about you,

Let them ignore you.

Let them be “right.”

Let them doubt you.

Let them not like you.

Let them not speak to you.

Let them not invite you. 

Let them leave you.

Let them choose someone else.


If they don’t want to support you…let them.


“Kindly step aside and LET THEM”.


“Hold tight to what you can control and release your grip on what you can’t control.”


Let them go.


The end. 


“Perhaps my next tattoo?*


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