I did an interview recently over Zoom with one of several journalists who’d reached out to me after the results from the Psilocybin trial were made public. We were introduced to each other by another participant in the study who had found me and connected us. He lives in Costa Rica. He was very respectful and easy to talk to during our time together. I only wished the interview could’ve been done in person in Costa Rica, lol.
As I wrote in a recent blog, (https://wheredidmommyssmilego.com/2024/03/17/psychedelic-bonds/), I am so beyond grateful that this other participant did find me. Two women, both with many years of suffering from treatment resistant depression, desperately trying to figure a way out of our own despair and now forever bonded by further trauma and pain due to our willingness to participate in a clinical study.
The journalist wanted to hear our stories for an article he was writing about the truths that were left out of the final study results. Neither “Heather” or I wanting our experiences to be “silenced” or “minimized”, we agreed to share our stories with him; both of us hoping to bring awareness as to how the use of psychedelics for research and therapeutic purposes need to be vastly improved.
I also mentioned in another recent blog, (https://wheredidmommyssmilego.com/2024/03/03/clinical-trial-published/), that I had asked my Psychiatrist, who I have great respect for, permission to speak my truths to these journalists; given his position in the study itself. He gave me his blessing, but it did come with a warning to be careful as he didn’t want to see me exploited or experience further hurt for any journalist’s own personal gain.
Talking (and writing) about my journey has always been very cathartic for me, even after sharing it like a thousand times by now, but when the journalist sent me the rough draft of the article, asking both Heather and I to approve what he’d written before publishing it, I suddenly became very triggered and traumatized once again. I began reliving that day over and over again in my mind, and the weeks, months, and now years following (it will be exactly 2 years ago this coming week, and in many ways, it still feels like it was yesterday). The deeper I delved into the article, the more unreal it felt reading it. I was numb and just kept thinking to myself, “omg this is not some random stranger’s story, this is my actual f*cking life.” And even though I re-read many of my blogs from time to time and think, damn I’ve been through a lot of sh*t, reading this back from an outsider’s perspective felt very surreal.
I am truly grateful, though, to have been given the opportunity to lend my voice to such a large audience and important conversation. Since published a couple of days ago, the article has been viewed and shared by thousands of people on many different social media platforms and has given my blog some HUGE exposure, for which I am most grateful. I have once again been contacted by several individuals who have read the article, shocked by what I have gone through, thanking me for sharing my story and offering support from their own professional backgrounds and practices to which I look forward to learning more about.
**The photo I shared, with permission, is from Heather herself. It gives you a glimpse into the room we were in for our dosing and therapy sessions. It was cold and “cramped” with “no windows, no plants, no natural light.” Just one of the many things that need to be improved upon.
Here is a link to the article itself if you are interested in reading it, his takeaways the journalist lists at the end of the article are quite valuable as to where future research studies can go from here:
https://www.ecstaticintegration.org/p/two-cases-of-extended-difficulties
Thank you as always for continuing to come along with me on my journey. Your support and prayers mean the world to me.
#interview #sharingmystory #clinicaltrial #research #treatmentresistantdepression #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #psychedelics #psilocybin #pgad #neurology #journalists #itsoktonotbeok #youareenough
YouAreEnough 