The last flame of hope I’d been clinging to for the past couple of months burned out last night.
The claim to our insurance company for a treatment I’d been anxiously awaiting and could not afford otherwise was denied yesterday. Their letter was vague, siting a whole bunch of scientific gibberish and asking for additional medical information to be considered moving forward.
(I won’t bore you with all the details again, but in case you missed what I’m referring to from a few weeks ago, here are the blogs I wrote;
Just needed to vent today…
https://wheredidmommyssmilego.com/2024/01/23/once-again/)
This has hit me REALLY hard. Harder than every other roadblock before. I cried a whole lot last night. I was angry and frustrated and confused as to what went wrong. The specialist had assured me over the phone that she saw no reason for me not to be approved by insurance. I never saw the actual submission, though, but had no reason not to trust her, even after chasing her down for seven weeks just to fill it out.
Last night, I took a closer look at the form she had filled out. My anger, frustration, and confusion only escalated further. Everything we had spoken about had been scratched out and changed to something completely different. It looked so unprofessional, and almost like a child had scribbled on a piece of paper. Maybe instead of scratching everything out, she could’ve taken an extra few minutes to start a fresh form, a form I had chased her down for seven weeks to write.
Hope is a belief that there is a possibility of positive outcomes. In the absence of hope, our feelings can turn to despair, helplessness, and an unexplainable emptiness.
That’s where I’m at today. I feel like I have no hope left to cling to or any chance of finding some relief from my neurological damage after witnessing that last flame of hope burn out last night.
#lastflame #feelingdefeated #hopeless #clingingtohope #neurologicaldamage #mentalhealth #youarenotalone #youareenough #helpless #unexplainableemptiness #treatmentresistant
YouAreEnough 