“I told her once I wasn’t good at anything. She told me survival is a talent.” ~ Susanna Kaysen; Girl, Interrupted
A year ago today, I started my current job, but if you want to get technical, though, I worked for this same organization in the earlier part of the 2000’s; for several years.
When I first accepted my job offer in December of 2022, to return to a position I actually quite enjoyed some 15 years ago, I was hoping that it would not only lift some of the burden off my family but that it would also maybe help create a positive shift in my life.
I hadn’t held a full-time job for close to nine years, not since I had walked out on my last job on April 4th, 2014. It was the day my journey first began; the day my life as I once knew it changed forever.
https://youareenough712.wordpress.com/2019/04/04/april-4-2014-its-been-five-long-years/
I remember how anxious I felt in the days leading up to my first day of work last year. So much had changed since I had last worked here, my health being number one; I wasn’t ready. Imposter syndrome set in.
Depression hijacks your energy, it leaves you with very little motivation, has you believe that you are a failure, and makes it often difficult to complete the simplest of tasks. How was I ever going to do this when I’m constantly battling with my mind every day?
It’s been a super challenging year for me, and the stress from my job has only added to it, but here I am, one year in, sitting at my desk, smiling through my depression. Somehow I have managed to get up early every morning for the past year in order to make it to work on time, developed many new skills, perfected some old ones, performed tasks that were beyond my realm of expertise, exceeded many goals and made some really awesome new friends who have been really great supports for me along the way.
There have been many, many tears shed and sleepless nights in the last year because of my job, but I survived year one. Being in constant survival mode has honestly become another great talent of mine. And now, how do I plan to celebrate this big accomplishment, you ask? I will be taking next week off in order to rest and regroup before I begin to tackle year 2 in the new year. I think I’ve earned my much needed break, wouldn’t you agree?
#yearone #feelingaccomplished #goals #depression #anxiety #working #depressionintheworkplace #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #workfriends #survival #suicidalideations #youarenotalone #youareworthy #youareenough
YouAreEnough 