Last evening I went to an appointment after work. The first thing the practitioner asked me before getting started was, “Has there been any significant changes to your medical history since you were last here?”.
While looking at my chart, the practitioner quickly added as reference, “you were last here in February of 2022”.
I paused for a moment as it registered in my mind that the last time I visited their office was just 6 weeks prior to my participation in the Psilocybin Research Trial.
A flood of emotions came over me.
Flashbacks to April 2, 2022 overcame my already anxious body.
I am easily triggered by everyday sights, sounds and smells, which bring me back to a certain time or place. This became one of those times.
I tried, with great difficulty, to stay composed and mustered up enough energy to just say NO.
I’d already been having a difficult week as it was and I knew that by me saying “NO” wasn’t going to change the course of my appointment either way; and besides, where would I even begin trying to explain to this poor, unsuspecting practitioner what has actually happened to me since I last saw her.
PTSD is very real and can be very complex. It most often occurs following a traumatic event or experience in one’s life and can be triggered by seemingly harmless situations that can send a person spiraling right back into the emotional horror of their past experience in a millisecond, which is exactly where I found myself last evening as I continue to live day in and day out with a neurological disorder that was caused by my treatment on April 2nd, 2022, a disorder which nobody seems to be able to fix, and many more not even willing to try.
#ptsd #complex #Psilocybin #clinicaltrial #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #youarenotalone #itsoktonotbeok #triggers #flashbacks #events #youareenough #doingthebestthatican
YouAreEnough 