My mentally fragile brain feels forever wired to ruminate over every nasty negative thought and experience I have rather than staying present long enough to enjoy the positive ones.
Rumination is very common for people like myself who suffer with depression and anxiety but I totally get how difficult it is for a healthy brain to understand the affect it can have on someone’s health and wellbeing. Even during those moments of joy, inside, my mind is more often than not, wandering to some stressful situation that happened in my day/week or replaying a problem over and over again that has not yet been resolved.
The ruminations usually start off pretty innocently but very quickly build up to a level of obsessive behaviour while trying desperately to make sense of a situation which I can’t seem to grasp hold of or rectify or a want to feel heard or seen.
I’ve had a really trying couple of weeks but on Friday afternoon as I left my office and headed home I made a solemn promise to myself that I would try and let go of my ruminating thoughts and instead pour my energy into my busy weekend ahead of me.
In order for my plan to work, I surrounded myself with friends, made self-care a top priority (unfortunately we didn’t have time for hiking though) and found ways to distract my clouded mind, but still, the need to ruminate felt oddly irresistible and often stole my attention away from trying to stay present through it all.
But no matter what, I appreciate every single moment of joy I experienced this weekend; having several opportunities for self-care and most importantly, being surrounded by friends.
A special shout out to 2 very special people in my life, one for including both Rich and I today in her celebration champagne brunch (see pic) and two, for another very special friend who gifted me these 2 beautiful heart shaped crystals (see pic) during our evening together last night which I plan to hold close to me always. One being an amethyst which is meant to heal, cleanse, protect and bring calming energy to someone and the other stone, an opalite which helps bring clarity and strengthen self-insight.
I am truly blessed to have an army of love surrounding me through thick and thin.
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YouAreEnough 