It’s been a week…and a real shitty one at that. Ironically though it was a short one because of the holiday on Monday, but somehow it felt way longer…
Too many appointments crammed into a short week. It was probably very poor planning on my part but when some appointments are booked weeks or even months in advance (6 to be exact) you start to lose track. One of these appointments triggered a panic attack just by entering into the hospital corridors where the sights, the sounds and the smells of this particular hospital continue to be a reminder of when I was brought into their emergency room earlier this year by 2 police officers, in handcuffs (can you really blame me though?).
I’ve also been experiencing worsening physical symptoms and severe flare ups that seem to go on for days and days. They cause debilitating nausea, hopelessness, helplessness, tears and severe anxiety.
There was lots more crap that went down this week to make it a real shitty, super long one but I won’t get into any of that right now.
I haven’t been able to do much self-care this week, which includes writing as I continue to struggle with how to battle my inner conflict that really hinders me from achieving my ultimate goal of wellness. My intrusive thoughts and often confusing emotions just keep overriding it, causing me feelings of fear, anger, shame, disgust and frustration.
Today Rich and I set out on a #summerofrich adventure to try and calm my mind…and body. I find I’m most at peace when in nature, when I challenge myself (and boy was this hike ever challenging) and as for all my physical issues I’ve been dealing with for 15 months now, moving my body seems to be the only time I feel some relief.
How do you manage your inner conflicts?
#innerconflict #shittyweek #nature #calmness #relief #shame #frustration #hiking #challenge #adventure #itsoktonotbeok #treatmentresistantdepression #anxiety #ptsd #panicattacks #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #physicalpain #Psilocybin #intrusivethoughts #suicideawareness #transcanadatrail #brucetrail
YouAreEnough 