This plaque hangs in my office. Every time I look at it I feel the urge to rip it off the wall.
I know some people glancing up at it during their busy work day may be inclined to take pause in that moment and reflect; maybe it gives someone something to think deeply about or even help to motivate them during a stressful day. But for someone like myself who battles with chronic depression each and every day, every time I look at it, all I wanna do is give it one swift karate chop.
Over the past 9 years, I have heard these words innocently spoken to me time and time again.
Just think positively, just think happy thoughts; if only it was that easy.
Every day I make choices in regards to my mental wellness. I choose to create healthy boundaries which is not always easy, I choose to communicate my thoughts and feelings even though it may sometimes be uncomfortable for others or embarrassing for me and I choose “me” even when the guilt is too overwhelming.
It is most often a very challenging task for me to feel good about myself though when all I hear is that voice in my head spewing negative self-talk at me day in and day out, usually telling me I’m not good enough or I’m not doing enough.
If I would only just choose to be happy then I guess I would feel better, right?
What many people don’t quite understand is that depression is not a choice. I did not choose to become depressed just like I would not choose to have Cancer and thinking that if I just chose to feel happy or if I just chose to think happy thoughts that I could heal my depression can be very detrimental and damaging to someone’s healing process; and lets face it, if it was truly that easy there would be no such thing as Depression and Anxiety.
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YouAreEnough 